Divorce Song was written by a surprisingly cultured alcoholic divorcee as an alternate version of Shakespeare's Bridal Song.
Your rose, all its delight being gone
Not repulsive in its smell alone
But in its hue
Ashen grey, of odour strong;
Like fishes dead-so very wrong,
You know it's true
Dylan, bastard child of ours
Broken condom’s consequence
With his dim brain
Kyle, in his cradle howling
Jane in her pink-frilled bedroom scowling…
That time again.
Custody of our children so un-sweet
Lies ‘fore my divorce attorney’s feet
I want it not!
Want I a life of alcohol strong
And placing my manhood long
Into hooker hot
The pansy-ass, lie-filled love poems by
No more shall I read
I shun their One Girl bullshit advice
And shall unto every girl what looks nice
Spilleth my seed