UnNews:Zombie Graham Chapman confirmed for Python reunion

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24 November 2013

Late funnyman Graham Chapman rising from the dead to sign his contract.

LONDON, England -- Legendary British comedy troupe Monty Python will be reuniting for the first time since 1998. And Although Python-er Graham Chapman died of cancer in 1989, the five surviving members -- John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, and Michael Palin -- have devised a way to include the late comedian in their act. Chapman will reunite with the group in the form of a rotting, bloodthirsty, ravenous zombie.

"I don't know who the fuck came up with that idea," says Cleese. "I guess we wanted the audience to scream with laughter."

"We've missed Graham for far too long now," says Idle. "And now that he's risen as a rabid, hungry, carnivorous corpse, I'm excited that he's back. They said Pink Floyd would never reunite; they said Van Halen would never reunite with David Lee Roth. No one ever said Graham would never reunite with us in this life."

When asked about the risk of Chapman eating his collaborator's brains and flesh, Gilliam only had this to say, "Well, that's showbiz. He can eat my brain anytime he wants; I haven't had one since 12 Monkeys."

After years of Chapman being dead, the Python members have long sought the help of mad scientists to make reanimation of a corpse a reality. With the increasing popularity of zombie fare such as Dawn of the Dead, World War Z, and The Walking Dead, Idle knew it was now or never.

Palin is not yet confirmed for the reunion, and Jones says that if Palin can't make it, they'll replace him with Sarah Palin.

"We've been speaking to both Palins, but they both have busy schedules. Lots of negotiations about money," he says.

"Sarah Palin would be fucking hilarious!" Cleese quipped. "Yup, you betcha!"

Idle chimed in with, "Let's have Graham eat the bitch's brain!"

"She ain't got one, mate," Cleese reminded him.

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