UnNews:Sheen caught HIV from tiger blood

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Tuesday, November 17, 2015

There had been few indications that Sheen was ill.

Hilarious actor Charlie Sheen has announced that he is HIV positive, and confirmed that he contracted the disease from tiger blood transfusions.

The star, who began to import tiger blood from Africa 5 years ago to improve his chances of winning his personal battle against the makers of Two and a Half Men, admitted that he had no idea that the striped felines carried the disease.

"The problem with tigers is, you never know. I know that now. Most tigers are OK, they're good people. But some sleep around, and some do heroin."

Sheen, who once said, "I'm different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man," now accepts that he does not have a different brain or heart to the rest of us, and that the tiger blood he was injecting has had a significantly negative impact on his constitution.

He made the announcement on US TV with his doctor, Robert Huizenga, who said his daily medication has suppressed the virus and that, "Charlie has an undetectable level of the virus in his blood," he said. "In fact, you could say he is doing greeeeeeeeat."

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