UnNews:Over-Enlargement of Penis Leads to Explosion

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26 June 2006

William Hu surveys his scooter, covered with dick meat.

WANKTON FALLS, Idaho -- A man's overly-enlarged penis exploded today on a bus arriving at Wankton Falls, Idaho, injuring several people with flying penis meat. There were no fatalities.

The explosion resulted as Mark J. Porter finished reading a particularly good "Letter to the Editor" which was published in the Forum section of Penthouse Magazine. For two years prior to his exposure to the letter, Porter had answered every advertisement for penis enlargement he received in his email.

Health officials estimate the size of Porter's penis before the explosion as roughly the size of a pilot whale.

"The constant barrage of penis enlargement ads received via the Internet is clearly a hazard to those with little dinks," said Wankton Falls High School Football Coach Mitch Coldmin. "Now, guys like myself, who have penises roughly the size of lawn tractors, don't need reassurance or enlargement for self-confidence. Why, I wouldn't even mention my enormous genitals if I hadn't been asked. That's how modest I am about my huge package."

Porter survived the explosion in spite of the massive blood loss and remains in stable condition at Moose Lodge Regional Hospital.

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