UnNews:Mueller Protection Bill passes Senate Judiciary Committee

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search

Friday, April 27, 2018

UnNews Logo Potato.png
MAGA: Mueller Ain't Going Away!

CAPITOL HILL, WASHINGTON -- The Senate Judiciary Committee has voted 14-7 (with 4 Republicans joining the effort) to approve a bill protecting Special Counsel Robert Mueller from being fired by President* Donald Trump, that "stable genius" who only hires "the best people" -- several of whom have already been raided by the FBI or outright indicted. Hell, even Trump's lawyer, Michael Cohen, is pleading the fifth. So much for this famous quote:

“The mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?”

– Donald Trump, September 2016

Now, that the Mueller Protection Bill has passed this test, its fate lies with it's sworn enemy, Mitch McConnell. If we're super, super lucky, McConnell will allow the bill to go to a full Senate vote.

The bill is designed to make Mueller fireproof and tell Trump, "You can't fire Mueller and there's nothing you can do about it. Go sit and cry on Twitter while Mueller decides whether or not to unseal that indictment he has against you." Anyone who attempts to fire Mueller must have a damn good excuse for doing so, and in writing. If Mueller is fired for bullshit reasons, he will be reinstated, according to the bill.

Come on, Mitchy, you treasonous obstructionist of justice, you. See the light and let the bill move on to the next step. We can't have another Saturday Night Massacre. We also can't have a constitutional crisis.

Sources[edit]