UnNews:MS Word: 1337 h4Xx0r feature announced

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

7 December 2006

MICROSOFT HQ, 7th Circle of Hell -- Microsoft announced on Thursday that their popular word processing product, "Word", which is installed on millions of home, business, military, and government PCs, has an "undocumented special surprise bonus feature". According to sources within the company, Word can be used to remotely access and administer any PC, without the hassle and inconvenience of passwords or permission of the owner. All that is required is to send a compromised Word file as an attachment in an email.

The feature remained hidden for nearly 6 years despite the clarity of the interface

Bill Gates, master of Microsoft and lord of darkness, explained the feature in a press conference. "According to our market research, there is a definite demand for a product which combines the word processing features of Word with the ability to totally "haxx pwn" other peoples' computers." He went on to explain how, through almost miraculous foresight, this feature was implemented in every version of Word since Word 2000. "We're actually considering billing every owner of Word 2000 onwards for this newly disclosed feature, since it can be considered to be a major improvement on the utility of this software."

There are currently plans to roll out a "hotfix" patch to upgrade earlier versions of Word to incorporate this feature, which is also expected to be included in higher-end versions of Microsoft's new Vista operating system.

Sources

• "Sorry this article isn't funny - it must be written by a Yank" Forbes Online, December 07, 2006