UnNews:Calais immigrants to become tube drivers
Thursday, August 6, 2015
The news comes in the wake of the latest 24-hour tube strike, in which the well paid drivers have brought the capital to a standstill, baulking at the prospect of having to work nights.
"We've spent the last week trying to appease these train drivers who are on 45k a year and don't want to do nights, and I said to my butler, 'By Jove, Jeeves, I think I've had an idea'."
Transport for London employees were immediately sent to France with basic diagrams about "the electric metal horse" before they were informed that the immigrants had arrived from Africa via a combination of almost every form of modern transport.
Training then went so well that the brightest immigrants drove their new employers back to King's Cross, having negotiated a £12,000 a year basic salary for a six-day, 60-hour week.
Johnson declared: "History has shown that the British are extremely tolerant of other creeds and races, provided they provide free or cheap labour."
- Leverage, "Tube strike: night service row shuts down London Underground" Guardian, August 6, 2015