UnNews:BBC DJ's warned over possible Savile Pranksters

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29 October 2012

Ulster: A bit more than just Northern Ireland.
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BELFAST, Northern Ireland -- The BBC has sent an official email to all its radio phone-in DJ's today warning them to scan calls, texts, and emails for possible jokes about infamous paedophile and UnNews favourite, Jimmy Savile.

The warning comes after Good Morning Ulster, a BBC Radio Ulster show, was caught out by one such prank. As all of the accusations aimed at Savile have been based on posthumous accusations, with no evidence, the show invited listeners to debate the rights and wrongs of sullying a man's name when he is incapable of defending himself. Several callers noted Savile's charity work, while others admitted to having mixed feelings about their once-warm memories of Jim'll Fix It, Savile's iconic BBC1 show, in which young viewers wrote in expressing their dreams - of meeting a famous footballer or driving a combine harvester, for example - and Savile helped make them come true.

It was the discussion of this show which was to bring such disgrace to Good Morning Ulster. Listeners gasped and/or fainted as they heard DJ Niamh McNamarararara say, "A few texts coming in this morning, an alternative view on the Jimmy Savile story. This texter says, 'I wish everyone would stop criticising Jimmy Savile. He was a nice man. When I was eight he fixed it for me to [innuendo removed].'"

A BBC source, while admitting the text was "Omigod! So fucking funny!", told us that chiefs were furious. "BBC Ulster has literally dozens of listeners, and when they're not going on and on and on about being Catholic or Protestant, they can actually be quite po-faced. The BBC is terrified that the people will mobilise and protest about the text - you know what they're like over here, they'd have a march every Sunday if they could."

The email is said to issue guidelines asking employees to treat the following words (or variants thereof) with caution: Saville Row, pea, pee, dough, doe, file, filing cabinet, nail file, jingle-jangle, now-then-now-then, fix-it-for-me, and Showaddywaddy.

The scandal has brought a seemingly endless trail of negative consequences for the BBC, with ex-director and new New York Times editor Mark Thompson also facing questions over the corporation's apparent turning of a blind eye to persistent unseemly rumours about Savile - and the buck doesn't stop there. British police now claim that one in every three people in the UK is implicated, and the ratio is even higher among those who can identify the difference between Spandau Ballet and Duran Duran.

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