UnNews:Alternative pop singer Melanie Martinez falsely accused of rape by former friend seeking attention

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Tuesday, December 5, 2017


Put a caption here!

If a celebrity's name is trending on Twitter in 2017, it means one of two things.

  1. they died
  2. they've been accused of sexual harassment

Neither is desirable for anybody. But for alternative pop singer-songwriter and former The Voice contestant Melanie Martinez, it was (to borrow a Bangles song title) a manic Monday. That afternoon, A woman claiming to be Martinez's former friend, aspiring singer-songwriter Timothy Heller (whom most people had never heard of), made unbelievably (and obviously) fake accusations against the singer -- who is perhaps best known for her Crybaby character from her bestselling debut album of the same name -- and posted them on Twitter for the whole world to see, including people who have never heard of the singer whose closest brush with the mainstream was when her single "Pity Party" (which samples Leslie Gore's 1963 hit "It's My Party") barely cracked the Top 40 on pop radio (despite only peaking at Number 8 on Billboard's Bubbling Under Hot 100). (Her quirky "baby" persona and Cruella De Vil hairstyle might be a little too weird for mainstream tastes.)

Heller's bullshit accusations read like mediocre twisted fan fiction by someone who needs serious professional help. I may not know what happens behind closed doors, but many fans who know Melanie better than I do have come to her defense and said she would never do such a thing, that she's actually against rape. In fact, she has at least one song about the subject. Her songs often deal with childhood (hence, Crybaby), personal trauma, and mental illness, things normally absent from mainstream pop music.

As Monday night dragged on and fans pulled the cliché "Beatles are bigger than Jesus" backlash stunt, Martinez fan Vlad Tweeted the following screenshots of a conversation "Sara" had with the "Mrs. Potato Head" singer (whose responses are in white):

Melanie Martinez innocent1.jpg

...and a conversation "Sara" had with Heller herself, who flat out admits it!

Melanie Martinez innocent2.jpg

Melanie eventually Tweeted her official statement:

Melanie Martinez rape official statement.jpg

Timothy Heller has a history of mental illness and lying.

There was a reason why I warned you about the Weinstein effect's potential to veer off into witch hunt/parody/false accusation territory. It wasn't necessarily to defend the accused or (certainly not!) the indefensible acts of which they were accused. Innocent people have been falsely accused in the past, such as Kobe Bryant. Innocent people have gotten life in prison or death, and it was too late to exonerate them. Remember the Salem Witch Trials? Remember the McCarthy Red Scare? Even the most noble cause can go too far. People jump on the latest bandwagon, jump to conclusions, or flat out lie. Sexual harassment is a very serious charge and can ruin an innocent person's reputation if accusations are misused. It's one thing when it's true, and those coming forward are brave and should be applauded for their efforts. Witch hunting, on the other hand, is despicable, and no better than the alleged crime.

Heller released a new song immediately after tweeting her accusations. Martinez is hard at work on her second album.

Sources[edit | edit source]