UnBooks:HowTo:Be A Failure

Cool Book Cover

So, we all know why you're here. Your parents love you too much, or not at all, Maybe you just saw this book and thought, Hey I wanna know that! Well if you are I gladly welcome you to on the one guide of how to be a failure in a few simple steps!

Step 1: Concentrate

After deciding if you want to be a failure you must first think like a failure. Do what you or another person would think is so stupid, that they or you now believe that you have the potential to become a failure. Some suggestions might be to meditate for a few minutes while thinking of ways to be a failure. This can range from eating an entire jar of Nutella, to going to your dream college and then getting kicked out after throwing the principal off a bridge as he passes by the campus park. Another thing I would suggest is trying to do something stupid and not funny so that the people on Uncyclopedia also find you as a failure. If you have trouble concentrating on being a failure, Good! you are so bad at being a failure that you're failing at failure!

Step 2: Interacting

Another important preparation step would be to fail at talking to be people. Again, failing at talking to people will help you out. Another good way to fail at interacting is to argue something stupid that is untrue examples include: The earth is in the shape of a chicken nugget or, humans don't have legs. Another option always available is to quit college and explain to your parents how this will benefit and hope they say "You are a disappointment never come to this house again."

Tip: Stabbing people with knives is a good way to be people to hate you

Everything that happens during this step is really important and it is recommended to not skip steps as they can result in inproper execution of future steps and this will result in you wasting an hour of your life.

Step 3: Training and Preparation

Before completing your journey of starting your adventure to failure, You must properly train your mind to see every possible mistake you can make some items you might need are as follows: A Nerf Gun, a jar of Nutella (as previous talked about in part 1), This book, a crowbar, possible flamethrower parts, and a dark blue mechanical pencil to write down strategies, A notepad is also recommended but you can use others skin to write on. You will also need to train your skills (if you don't have any skills please move onto next step or keep reading) Skills are just as hard to lose as to get! First ask where you see yourself in 5 years and say something disappointing to yourself. Secondly,