Sovietetris
Weapon X-62 is a highly volatile WMD created by the former Soviet Union. It was programmed, manufactured and developed under the guise of a video game known as Sovietetris, which is its codename in formal conversation.
The weapon has since never seen the light of day, as its only opportunity for use was quickly stolen away by a guy who thought he was just too cool to be starting nuclear war.
The Weapon[edit | edit source]
Sovietetris's danger comes in its volatility, where, at any point, one could be instantly redirected on their computer to the latest Twitter post about some niche opinion nobody asked for. Luckily during the time of the game's development and use, computers weren't invented yet, or so the Germans would have us believe. The primary function of the game, however, was an early attempt by the Soviets to slowly melt away all capitalist ideals of the American youth, gradually making them question their economic system, and possibly starting another American Civil War.
This ultimately never occurred, as the baby boomer generation grew up to hate communism in all its forms for absolutely no reason other than trivial cultural differences.
Gameplay[edit | edit source]
In the game, you play as a shapeless god who loves nothing more than to clear entire sections of tiles en masse. To satiate this ravenous urge, your goal is to make a lot of money clearing tiles, which will be compared to others in your field. Once you reach a point of total monopoly, you win the game, although your celebration will be short-lived following your immediate demise at the hands of the game, which self-destructs in front of your face.
I'm not entirely sure what these Soviet game developers were thinking; they obviously wanted to create a masterpiece game that taught the children of the West about the great benefits and superior nature of communism which would eventually spiral into an uprising. But at the same time, their engineering of the unique self-destruct feature seems to conflict with this idea of conversion. But hey, that's just a statistic.
Reception[edit | edit source]
From within the Soviet Union--specifically the Kremlin--there was general unease, as the game's designer, Anony Mousnullovich, wheeled in an entire truck full of game cartridges. Pinning it as an assassination attempt, Khrushchev had Mousnullovich "dealt with," sending him to a "software training camp" in Siberia.
With those outside the government, such as the military, they had virtually no idea how the game was even played. Such is the case with the converted submarine B-59. The submarine was crucial for its involvement in The Disappointment of October 1962. Its crew, comprised of members of the Soviet Madlad Division, were responsible for the near-release of the game upon American ships off of Cuba and Spain.