Richard Marsland
“Richard Marsland: Shock-Jock, Cowboy, Lover.”
“I only dream of having his rubber buttocks in my wardrobe”
“1010101110001101101011010101101011011”
Richard "Armitage Shanks" Marsland is comedy/tragicomedy/drama writer/actor/three-bags-full-sir, Lord of the Dance and is the self-proclaimed host of Triple M's Get This radio-wave pogrom. The personification of radio, he can often be seen carrying a windswept look with him, so it can be used at one of his daily photo shoots or even forced onto passers by.
Early Days[edit | edit source]
The young Marslando Calrissian started a normal life at an early age, yet soon found it was not for him. Growing up in the rough churches of Adelaide, he fought his way to the top of the food chain the old-fashioned way - by eating everyone else. According to insiders, Dick relinquished his taste for human flesh to take up a career in radio, shortly after fathering the entire Partridge Family in what Doctors described as "A fucking miracle!!!" and "Probably bullshit...the ENTIRE Partridge Family? I think you're lying. See now you're laughing! How am I supposed to believe you if you're laughing?" and "I'm not a doctor but for $3,000 I will strip on some grass for you. Oh and yeah what you said about that family of partridges is totally true."
Career[edit | edit source]
Richard "Spandau" Marsland's radio career took off with a jet engine, and unfortunately then did what some have called a Peter Brock and crashed into Adelaide morning tv with his co-host "Strap on yer Sunday best" Anne "The Man" Wills. They filed for divorce in late 2004 and Marsland's career spiralled out of control, like a baby in an in-sink garbage disposal unit. He was heard on many seedier broadcasts around the world including "Sleaze Pleaze" with Some Guy, "Couches, lube and you" with Chad Kroeger (of Nickelback shame), and "What's Inside That Orifice??!!" with Hot-Dogs, Pope John Paul II and Edward Rollins. It is during this time he disappeared for 2 months, only to re-appear in Los Angeles sporting a handlebar moustache, a leather jacket with matching pants, gold chains and answering only to the name Dirty Sanchez.
Then in 2006 he shaved off the handlebars of oppression (according to onlookers he had to be cut from the leather pants), and began hosting the dictatorship juggernaut called Get This along with fellow Satiny Kaftan enthusiasts Tony Martin and Ed Kavalee, which daily abuses the right to free speech, animal rights, and the right hand of clocks. Richard Marsland is so cool. sorry armitage shanks
The Many Nicknames of Richard Marsland[edit | edit source]
Richard Marsland also has a myriad of nicknames, righteously accumulated after many years of questionable antics, many of which involved frolicking. They include:
- 30 Seconds to Marsland
- 6:30 am
- A Time to Dick
- Mars Trek: The Next Generation
- Anne Wills' Bitch
- Armani Shanks
- Armitage 'Lamb' Shanks
- Armitage Shanks
- Beatmaster Marsland
- Bhache Ihn Phive
- Biggie Smalls
- Citizen Dick
- Crouching Richard Hidden Dick
- D'Artagnan the Marsketeer
- David Bowie
- David Marr-sland
- Dealing with Marsland
- Dick
- Dick Bar
- Dicky Knee
- Dick Liquor
- Dick "Tracy" Marsland
- Dikipedia
- Dick "Clarke" Marsland
- Dicky Sanchez
- Dirty Dick Sanchez
- Dolce & Marslanda
- Face On Mars
- GE Money Marsland
- Head Poncho
- HindMars Stadium
- Hurricane "The Windswept" Marsland
- Jimmy Wales
- Kim Beasely's Gimp
- Life on Marsland
- Mars bar
- Mars-kiss me quick, hug me slow-Land
- M*A*R*S*L*A*N*D
- Marslandass
- Marsland Attacks
- Marsland the Martian
- Marslando Bloom
- Marslan Brando
- Marslando Calrissian
- Mars Needs Guitars
- Mars Pathfinder
- Mars-supial
- Mars-termind
- Men are from Mars-land
- Panel Fantasia
- R.e.M
- R.M Williams
- Richard Funland
- Richard Marsipan
- Richard "Simmons" Marsland
- Richard Your Body is a wonder-land
- Ricky "Work, Rest, and Play"-land
- Ricky Funk Face
- Ricky M
- Ricky Mouse
- Ricky Ricky East-ender
- "Riff-Raff" Marsland
- Shock-Jock Richard Marsland
- Spandau Marsland
- Sunrise with Mel and Marsland
- The Actor Richard Marsland
- The Artist Formally Known As "I Heart Marsland"
- The Big M
- The Man From Nantucket
- The Man Some Call Armitage Shanks
- The Mars Volta
- The Marslander
- The Mars-ter: with Mark Baretta
- The Mars-ter Blaster
- The Panel Whisperer
- The Red Planet
- The Sanchez Master
- Tokyo Marsland
- Toto Neorest
- Traction Jackson
- Tricky Dicky
- Typhoon Marsland
- University Of Marsland
- Up your nose and away it goes Marsland
- Veronica Mars-land
- Wiki Marsland
- Windswept One
- Windy Rick
- Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Marsland
Marsland: Paparazzo Extraordinaire[edit | edit source]
Apart from ramming his battleship Get This through the airwaves, Marsland keeps fingers in many pots of proverbial honey, and occasionally (to the the dismay of sources) in pots of verbial and even adjectival honey. Those hot-pots of smoky bbq honey include white anting on Rove Live and taking candid and what some call perverted paparazzo style pictures. What is odd about this passtime is that The Esteemed Ricky M says he is not limited to what society labels as "stars" and "models", and can often be seen snapping what he refers to as "The Money Shot" through various bedroom windows around Australia. In fact in Australia people will carry a peeping in by Richard Marsland as a badge of honour, and will avidly search through his monthly release "Marsland: A Cowboy's Perspective" to find shots of them in various states of undress.
Quotes[edit | edit source]
“I'm Richard!”
“Denim”
“Nice Crackle”
“You can take my licence, but you'll never take my Tequila!”
“Hows about you and I take the Short Bus back to my place?”
“I can't stop masturbating!”
“I put the laid in Adelaide”
“...and I mean "laid" as in "I had intercourse". Heh heh heh. How awesome was that call?”
Secret Gay List??[edit | edit source]
- (This section has been deleted by Alan Jones)