PragerU
“tHe bAby fUcKinG DiEs.”
“Feelings don't care about your facts!”
Prager University, or simply PragerU, is a totally real university, known for its very unbiased, absolutely nuanced, extremely fair, balanced, and definitely thoroughly researched "courses" that convince people to be die-hard Christian conservatives just within five minutes. It was founded by Dennis Prager, a man with infinite integrity and wisdom, and also a veteran who bravely fought in the 2017 War on Christmas. Dennis Prager invited the greatest minds from across the globe to spread the righteousness of the right in five-minute videos that ended up bringing crippling depression, atheism, Islam, feminism, communism, narcissism and environmentalism down to a record low of 0% worldwide, while simultaneously intensifying capitalism by 5,000,000% across the various realms of the multiverse, all within the timeframe of a year.
Origins[edit | edit source]
To examine the origins of PragerU, first, you must know the biography of its founder, the one and only Dennis Prager.
Dennis Prager[edit | edit source]
Dennis Prager was born in 1948 in Bethlehem, a Roman neighbourhood of Brooklyn, two seconds after an angel was seen descending from the heavens who seemed to have the appearance of a stupid white-haired old man wearing nerdy glasses, who spake before he left, "iF GoD dOesN't ExIsT, tHeN mUrDer iSn't wRoNg". When Prager was only 5 months old, fifty of his brothers died of late-term abortions and both of his parents were murdered by radical communist Mexican Islamic terrorists after they couldn't defend themselves with AK-47s under the unalienable rights of the 2nd Amendment taken away by deep state commissar Barack Hussein Obama-bin-Laden II. When he was in middle school, big bullies sporting Che Guevara shirts and hammer and sickle tattoos picked on Dennis Prager for not wanting to seize the means of production by giving him massive wedgies with his favourite patriotic American flag tighty-whities. In high school, he was also shoved into a locker every time he said "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays". It wasn't long before Dennis Prager decided enough was enough and was determined to rid the world of left-wing radicals by preaching to the world how great capitalism is. He gained many followers, such as his grandparents, his dog Otto, and the Judeo-Christian God himself.
Founding of Prager University[edit | edit source]
He started his university in the San Fernando Valley of California. Originally, the campus was situated in his great aunt's attic. Nothing much went on there other than Dennis Prager writing an article about his oppressive and ungrateful wife who would never "willfully give up her body" for him because she "just wasn't in the mood". Because of her husband's abuse, he was forced to masturbate on his Paul Ryan body pillow instead. Prager's life sucked. But little did he know, everything was about to change. One night as Dennis was crying about his struggles as he walked forlornly all the way home, two spirits appeared in front of him. They were petroleum business-archangels from Heaven who came by the names of Dan and Farris Wilks, sent by the Judeo-Christian God to help Prager's cause under one condition: Prager was obliged to preach the world the truth according to the often forgotten 11th Commandment which states "Love your fossil fuels as you love yourself" (Nobody 6:9), and in return, Prager would receive tons of money to fund his organization. It was the holiest financial transaction in modern history. Because of this funding, there was absolutely no bias in his politics at all. This is why he is obviously "fiercely independent", that is according to the credible source known as dennisprager.com. Prager's university grew and grew, and became the most real university and most academic institution in existence. It expanded from his great aunt's attic to literally the entire internet in just a few months.
Content[edit | edit source]
About 3,500 videos are uploaded per week, and most of PragerU's content can be found on YouTube, but you can also find amazing tweets from Dennis Prager on Twitter. The videos, however, would be more accurately described as "online courses for academic purposes" because of how friggin' educational they are compared to a libtarded course at Harvard. PragerU's lectures focus mainly on chlichéd right-wing talking points everybody has heard before but now with cooler special effects and animations that automatically make them more appealing than any bullshit fake news coming from the liberal media.
The topics of PragerU's videos mainly encompass capitalism, religion, capitalism, loving fossil fuels, capitalism, politics, and most of all, CAPITALISM. Each of the online courses has the most patriotic patriots in the universe teaching you extremely patriotic things that they definitely specialize in.
PragerU and theology[edit | edit source]
“I am the Lord, Your God.”
In the video, "If God Doesn't Exist, Then Murder Isn't Wrong," Dennis Prager was so convinced about the existence of God it made atheists an endangered species, even more endangered than the few polar bears in the North Pole that are definitely not dying because of global warming since fossil fuels are good. And this God is certainly Dennis Prager, which is why God is referred to as a "he". Criticize Dennis Prager all you want, but without him, people would be murdering each other to steal each others' lunch money in a socialist society run by George Soros (aka SATAN). Without Dennis Prager, your mom wouldn't think twice before she aborted your ass. Dennis Prager is your saviour, and don't you forget that.
PragerU and gender[edit | edit source]
PragerU teaches the truth regarding the divinity of masculinity and the toxicity of feminism. Andrew Klavan, full-time author but also an "anti-feminist" (yes, that's a thing) who apparently knows more about how women struggle than an actual woman because he is just that talented, made a video denouncing feminism using solid evidence and facts. He proved that the only thing feminism would actually accomplish would be children with crusted faces. Andrew Klavan's video was so inspiring for a revival in masculinity that it helped the average penis size grow ten times larger.
PragerU and race[edit | edit source]
PragerU exposes the reality of the so-called racial discrimination. Black people think they are victims of white people, but that's not true! It was white Christian men who voted to give black people rights, so therefore racism can't exist anymore (Although PragerU does admit the American Civil War was about slavery and those white men literally fought to tear the country apart in the name of maintaining slavery, all that shit doesn't count). Racism isn't a thing anymore, get over it. The real problem is how rich white males are oppressed now by being forced to use Obamacare.
PragerU and Capitalism[edit | edit source]
According to PragerU, Capitalism was founded by Jesus and makes everybody rich as hell. Capitalism is the only way to peace and tranquility. Capitalism is the only way to true happiness. Capitalism is love, Capitalism is LIFE, and once you go to Heaven it will be ultra-Capitalist, guarded by the Judeo-Christian God from the Devil who wants to make it communist like Sweden!
PragerU and Feelings[edit | edit source]
According to wise philosopher Sir Ben Shapiro, facts don't care about your feelings, his feelings, her feelings, its feelings or their feelings. Feelings are irrelevant and useless. Emotions are useless. The only key to success is talking so fast nobody can comprehend with all the facts & logic you are spitting out all at once because they are just too stupid to understand the logical logic of your non-feelings-affected facts.
PragerU and Facts[edit | edit source]
Prager University has many amazing sources to back up their extremely nuanced claims of Facts and Logic. They can use the Bible
to prove that Fossils Fuels are good for the environment, or that God is male and real and supports Prager U, or that the rich
shalt not be taxed. This is, of course, because the Bible is a completely unbiased source of pure information. Prager University also
hosts super epic informative graphs that own the libs and use the power of capitalism to get away with not labelling their axis.
According to Prager University's spokesperson William Witthew, Fascism is better than Communism, and don't you ever forget that.
Other amazing "courses"[edit | edit source]
- "Why Hitler Wouldn't Be So Bad Without gLoBaLiZiNg Outside of Germany", by Candace Owens, a white black person.
- "Death Penalties Are Good Unless If It's An Unborn Child", by Dennis Prager.
- "Why I Endorse Capitalism", by Jesus Christ.
- "Why I Am Such a Fucking Asshole and Nobody Should Trust Me", by Karl Marx.
- "Why Christopher Columbus Was Good", by Steven Crowder, a very hilarious comedian who still lives with his daddy.
- "Why Trump is Good for America", by Vladimir Putin.
- "How the Civil War was about States Rights", by Robert E. Lee.
- "The Left Is Using Illegal Immigrants To Take Power Away From White Americans So They Can Make America Brown as Fuck. Also, I'm a Virgin.", by Tucker McCarlson.
- "I'm Suing My Mom and My Cow and Why You Should Too", by Devin Nunes.
- "You Shouldn't Feel Sorry for Survivors of School Shootings, Feel Bad For Me, I Lost My Advertisers!", by Laura Ingram.
- "How The Supreme Court and Amicus Curiae are a bunch of libtards" by Dennis Prager who is not salty that they threw out the case whatsoever
- A bunch of videos of Dennis Prager being smart and debunking lefties in super
boringinteresting 2 billion hour videos called "Fireside Chat". It's just like sitting with your ultra-Conservative grandpa who acts like he knows the answer to everything and doesn't show interest in hearing your point of view because you are just a stupid millennial who has been brainwashed by evil Muslim college professors. (Also he hasforcedallowed his dog, Otto, to listen to his words of wisdom)