Mississippi Fred McDowell
“It had been a wonderful evening and what I needed now, to give it the perfect ending, was a little of the Ludwig Von. Flintstone and I were listening to Beethoven at the time.”
The illegitimate son of Fred Flintstone and Malcolm McDowell, he was born in Mississippi when a then-divorced Fred Flintstone had a one-night stand with Malcolm McDowell, whom he drunkenly thought was a woman. (This was when he did A Clockwork Orange, mind you.) I bet you're wondering how a man could become pregnant... Well, didn't you ever see the movie, Junior?
At a young age, Fred McDowell and his parents moved back to Bedrock and young Fred worked at his father's old job at Mr. Slate's rock quarry. He was very lazy and the dinosaurs bit him constantly. When Slate fired him, he sued for $7 in workers' compensation and won.
When the McDowells moved to a town called Rossville in 1918, Fred McDowell starting playing guitar at dances and clubs across the town. He built up a huge following playing blues music. He continued to pursue his passion when the family moved to Como, Mississippi, in 1940 and he married a woman named Sherri Moon Zombie. In 1942, Fred was involved in a car accident that required a total facelift. This changed his gender from Caucasian to African-American, but nobody seemed to notice.
"Mississippi" Fred McDowell died of cancer in 1972, although some conspiracy buffs believe he was vengefully murdered by Mr. Slate. His legacy lives on in every blues guitarist, wannabe blues guitarist, and blues air guitarist across the globe. His many hits included "You Gotta Move," "Gimme More," "Oops!...I Did It Again," "Toxic," and the immortal classic "My Poppa were a Flintstone, an' My Mamma were a Clockwork Orange!," which has been covered by everybody and their momma since its 1965 release.
- "Mississippi" Fred McDowell (1951)
- My Poppa were a Flintstone, an' My Mamma were a Clockwork Orange! (1952)
- Three's Company (1954)
- Four's a Crowd! (1956)
- I Ain't Doin' No More Albums! (1960)
- Alright, Alright, I'll Do Another Album! There, Ya Happy??!! (1965)
- I Don't Play No Rock 'n' Roll! (1969)
- The Very Best of Mississippi Fred McDowell (1993)
- The Slightly Embarrassing of Mississippi Fred McDowell (1994)
- Legacy Collection (2004)
- The Complete Recordings (2007)
- "Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Do" (1951)
- "What the F**k is a Chord?" (1952)
- "Oops!...I Did It Again" (1952)
- "You Gotta Move" (1952)
- "Three's Company" (1954)
- "Toxic" (1954)
- "What's the Point of Releasing Singles If They're Already on the Album?" (1955)
- "My Poppa were a Flintstone, an' My Mamma were a Clockwork Orange!" (1965)
- "I Don't Play No Rock 'n' Roll" (1969)
- "The Record Company is Pressuring Me to Release Album After Album After Album!" (1970)
- "My Record Company Forced Me To Release This as a Single, Although You Can Easily Buy This Crappy Song on iTunes" (1971)