Let your cat be your shrink
Note: all pictures in this article have been edited to protect the guilty
One of the good things of investing your time, money, furniture, family, friends and possible girl- or boyfriend in a cat is that you will never have to pay anything for your shrink anymore. A cat can be a way better shrink then the ones the government wants you to see.
Cats are always busy with your case[edit | edit source]
Don't let their closed eyes fool you! A cat is always busy with his analysis on you. they will give you hints regarding its finds during the day. So, don't think the cat is simply yowling in the middle of the night or tearing your new sofa to pieces for nothing. In this case the yowling means that you should get up to find yourself a mat. By tearing up the new sofa the cat is telling you that it will kill you if you do not submit to its whim. Cats are like that, you see.
The drugs[edit | edit source]
The best thing however, on having your cat be your shrink are the drugs cats prescribe. The Nazi party cats have been known to be the engineers of LSD, but nowadays much more advanced drugs are available in your local pet store. Your cat will tell you exactly what drugs, cloaked cleverly as candy, to buy by not eating the drugs he does not want you to take. This really doesn't make sense anyway, but follow it, or a grue will eat you.
