Dareton, New South Wales

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Dareton)
Jump to: navigation, search

“In Soviet Russia, dingo steals YOU!!!”

~ Russian Reversal on Dingos

“Where the bloody hell is Dareton?”

~ Lara Bingle on Dareton
Dareton In 1965

Dareton is a small town in the south west corner of New South Wales. It is best known for being the birth place of the modern day "emo", home of Olympic Medalist Daniel Moe and Hip-Hop/Dancecore band Davey Bee. It was founded in 1857 by the Australia's first known "emo", Peter Costello. The natives of the land gave it up for an Xbox and "working" DVD player. Since then Dareton has grown to be one of the most prosperous, isolated and quiet places in outback Australia. Dareton is also home to the "Emo" Fall Out Boy Bassist Pete Wenz, and George Clooney is known to holiday there regularly. Recently Dareton has had tourist coming from all over the globe after the sighting of Elvis, who was seen purchasing Dick Smith brand soda from the local store.


Dareton was founded in 1857 by the worlds first known "emo" Peter Costello. It is believed that he traded the native people an Xbox and a "working" DVD player. He set up a cattle station known as "Costello's Run" which is now the location of Namma. Settlers began moving into the area around 1870. The areas economy only started to flourish with the growing popularity of "emo" music in the 1960's. Bands such as The Beatles, The Rolling Stones and The Move all started their careers in Dareton. Since then bands such as Fall Out Boy, Snow Patrol and The Used have all made their debuts in Dareton. One of the major points in Dareton's history is the introduction of electricity in 1981, with television coming in soon after in 1992.Dareton is seen to be the biggest thing since sliced bread. It is seen in the future that Dareton will climb out of its hole and live a regular life with the rest of society.

The local constabulary are a hard working group, with the exception of the local Detective sergeant, this man is an arrogant, corrupt lying sack of crap, and held in the lowest of regard by the community and his workmates.

Whilst abhorred by the male population the Detective Sergeant is sought by women of all ages such is his self acclaimed and promoted sexual prowess. Arguable quasi-scientific study has established much like the fabled Samson and Delilah the Detective Sergeant contributes his amazing and uncanny conquests of the fairer sex directly to his unhuman like nasal hair which is akin in likeliness and aphrodisiac effect of the legs of the Spanish Fly.


Dingo's are common transportation in Dareton.

Dareton boasts an excellent transportation system with one bus going in and out of Dareton every two days on average. Most locals prefer to use a "horse and cart" instead of motor vehicles due to there being no closed roads in Dareton. Other common forms of transport include wombats, kangaroos and dingos.

Terrorist Plot[edit]

George Clooney's holiday house, which the terrorists targeted.

On the 27th of March 1994, Dareton police uncovered a potentially deadly terrorist plot. Two men Alramadamerisheen Al Shamad Al Alremedeem and Salaharamuraldeen Al Sarawhyon Unreloseenin were planing to throw soda bombs at George Clooneys holiday house. The plot was uncovered by police after the Alramadamerisheen Al Shamad Al Alremedeems mother uncovered the plans on a child's marker board which he got for a Christmas present the year before. Al Alremedeem's mother took the plans directly to the police. The two offendants were given a good talking to and were both sentenced to 2 weeks of being grounded.

Invention Of Passion Pop[edit]

A man after 20 to 30 bottles of Passion Pop.

Dareton is well known around Australia for being the birth place of the infamous alcoholic beverage, Passion Pop. During the depression after the Second World War, Frank Saigar, a teacher at the secondary school in Dareton decided he should make a drink which was not only exceptionally tasting, but also low cost. While his final product was far from being able to tick the box for exceptional tasting, it did sell at a low cost, which fulfilled half of Saigar's dream. Today Passion Pop is very much the same as it was when it was first available to consumers. It is often purchased by Australian youths, of whom describe it as tasting like "Black and gold cordial which has been left in the sun for a few years and had alcohol added." Frank Saiger has also made other successful products such as "Tent in a Can."

See also[edit]