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By using Uncyclopedia, you hereby agree to the terms and conditions set forth by the license agreement detailed below.

Article One: The End-user

Section One: User's Authority on Uncyclopedia

You have none. Deal with it.

Section Two: User's Capabilities

You the end-user, ie one who may choose to partake in activities, including, but not limited to the ones set forth here.

Paragraph One: Writing Articles

You, the end-user, having met the following conditions:

• Your contract has not been terminated by an admin
• You have huffed at least 2 kittens within the past 24 hours.

May partake in activities including:

• Vanity
• Keepers
• QVFD-quality Articles
• VFD-quality Articles
• Articles that make User:Gwax angry

Paragraph Two: Vandalism

• Vandalism, in forms including, but not limited to:

• Blanking
• Vandalizing a user page

• asdf

• Inserting random crap into articles at random locations, including, but not limited to:

• "lol pwnt"
• "YOU ARE ALL GAY"

Paragraph Three: Sockpuppetry/Username Abuse

• Creating sockpuppets
• Lamely offensive, childish (the childishness determined by an admin) usernames, including, but not limited to:

• !SPLAKA SUCKS
• !SPLAKA SUCKS

Note: For more such user names that you may create, please see Special:Listusers

Article Two: Administrators

By reading this text, you agree that any and all sysops, administrators, etc etc, have the abillities, etc described in this article.

Section One: Governing The Average Sheep (You)

Administrators have rights, including, but not limited to:

• Banning you for reasons including, but not limited to:

• Divine message(s)
• They feel like it (Note that this article does not discuss the restrictions on the definition of "feel" in this sense, it is assumed to be broad. infinitely so.)
• Jesus told them to (This is NOT the same as a Divine message, as a divine message can come from ANY omni* figure, ie your common-variety garden Grue
• You did something stupid, including, but not limited to approximately 90% of the capabilities described above in Article 1 Section 2.
• .*

Section Two: Administrator's duties and responsibilities

Paragraph One: What they can do

 SELECT * FROM `Admins_imagination`;

Paragraph Two: What they may not do

Administrators are restricted by the terms set below, including and limited to:

• An administrator may not, under any circumstances, write a new article.
• An administrator may not ban any user for a period of time longer than "infinite"

Paragraph Three: Exception clause

An administrator, upon satisfying at least one the following conditions:

• They want to.
• They feel like wanting to, but are too lazy to actually want to.
• They feel like feeling like wanting to, but are too lazy to actually feel that way.
• They have a whim to do so.

May thereby ignore any and all conditions set forth above.

Article Three: Disclaimer

Uncyclopedia is not in anyway responsible for harm, happiness, joy, insult, injury, or anything else that may be inflicted or felt, caused by things including, but not limited to:

• An alien invasion
• A grue
• An act of God
• An act of Gawd
• An act of G0d
• An act of Satan
• An act of Jesus
• An act of Adolf Hitler
• An act of YOU!!

• This applies only if you live in Soviet Russia.

• An act of You
• A forest fire
• A forest flood
• Huffing multiple kittens
• Believing material you read on Uncyclopedia
• Not donating large sums of money to Uncyclopedia.
• Being stupid

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