Wheeling Jesuit University/People/Queen Maher
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Queen Maher is the largest and deadliest creature of the Tiamat Brood, able to produce hundreds of newborn offspring in a week and capable of fighting against even the toughest monsters and most state-of-the-art military weaponry. She and her Brood both housed themselves at Wheeling Jesuit University for many years until she was finally defeated by the Philosopher King with the aid of Council of Light after an epic battle (special edition DVD to be released soon). Unbeknownst to many, Queen Maher was able to control multiple host bodies by infecting them with biotoxins that would allow her to twist their will to her bidding. Her influence was vast and unyielding - by the end of her reign, she had control of members in Residence Life, ITS, the WJU Board of Governors, Financial Aid, and even individual professors and student organisations.
Hatching The Queen[edit | edit source]
Queen Maher's origins date back to 340 B.C., when her seed was discovered by Alexander the Great's army in Mesopotamia. Fearing that it would hatch into something nasty, Alexander sent an envoy to sail to the farthest land he could go to and deposit the seed there. Fortunately, at the time, a Jewish-owned UFO company was preparing its trial run of bringing Jews to America to found Christianity. The soldier boarded the UFO and buried the seed deep under the ground, where it lay undisturbed for thousands of years until Jesuit Emperor Fed Acker Huang decided to build his institution on top of it.
The dormant Queen Maher, sensing a disturbance in the earth above it, finally decided that her time had come to awaken. By syphoning off and absorbing the radioactive water from the nearby Big Wheeling Creek, she was able to evolve into a super-plant.
Iron-Leaf Rule[edit | edit source]
Finally, in 1914, Queen Maher was mature enough to break the surface of the earth and begin her conquest. Fortunately, it so happened that the reigning WJU administration was looking for someone to fill the post of Dean. Queen Maher accepted the position immediately, and her office was built underground, surrounding the site of her birth. She lost no time in infecting as many people as possible with her mind-control spores. Initially, she used the hapless victims to bring her food and nutrients before devouring them, but her methods soon evolved when she noticed how easy it was to control the breed of humanity known as "administrators". By 1941, almost 90% of all WJU administrators were under her direct control. She was decided that it was then the perfect time to breed. In 1942, the Tiamat Brood was created.
Pruned[edit | edit source]
Queen Maher continued to infect WJU administrators and presidents, but one in particular proved to be surprisingly resilient. WJU president Father Rom displayed that he had the will to withstand Queen Maher's toxic spores, and created a secondary post, Dean of Academic Affairs, in defiance of her tactics. Enraged, the Tiamat Brood launched an all-out assault against Father Rom's administration; they survived by hiding out in T-More, where the asbestos quickly killed the fungus-based life forms.
Although future WJU leaders proved to be somewhat less capable than Father Rom in resisting Queen Maher's deadly powers, two years of record-breaking blizzards proved to be detrimental to Queen Maher's growth. The nail in her underground coffin ended up being a surprise drudge report by the Cardinal Connection in 2005 which revealed that Queen Maher had been having a secret affair with Treebeard. This humiliating revelation was a fatal blow to Queen Maher, and she began to slowly wither away throughout the course of the semester. The Philosopher King, sensing weakness, called upon the Council of Light to attack the brood mother, which was successful (Ultimate Council of Light, #23). Queen Maher was completely destroyed. The last of the Tiamat Brood creatures was squashed in the Kirby/Sara Tracy kitchen in March of 2005 while two girls were making peanut butter cookies.
Legacy[edit | edit source]
Because of the devastating effects of Queen Maher's spore attacks, all WJU students are now obliged to get checked for toxin activity at least once a semester. The Board of Governors was able to blame the multiple financial crises on Queen Maher instead of taking the hit for themselves. It is rumoured that El Presidente is still under the control of Queen Maher.