User talk:HabertLilly
NE Coach (A.K.A the New England Patriots coach on Madden NFL Football) was born some time on June 15th, 1960 in Mobile, Alabama to a racist family of 7. His father, DAL Coach (A.K.A the Dallas Cowboys coach on Madden NFL Football) was a very ambitious person, always striving to be the main KKK leader for the whole Southern Alabama region. In his pursuit for such a hefty goal he sold an astonishing 700 candy bars for the KKK candy selloff in February of 1961. Once the KKK caught notice of this, they instantly promoted him to be the leader for the whole Mobile, Alabama district. When asked about this he said, "White Power!" Jesse Jackson thought that this promotion was outrageous and then was quoted saying, "What the fuck is this shit about, I mean a Candy sale, I thought that he'd have to kill few blacks or castrate a few Jews, but a candy sale, now thats some fucked up shit." After this outburst by Jesse Jackson DAL just exclaimed, "White Power!"
NE's mother, Stacey Coach did not approve of such a horrible act, not the KKK, but making people buy such horrible candy at such competitive prices. Stacey was a massive whore who met DAL when they were both wasted after participating in Mardi Gras in New Orleans. She lifted up her shirt and DAL instantly fell in love with her nice titties. He asked her to come back to his hotel and they could hit the bong about 6 or 7 times and then have amazing sex. Her being a whore said yes cause she was to wasted to know what was going on. When asked about this incident she said, "I say him, at the time he looked cute so I said fuck it, I've only got one vagina, better whore it out as much as possible, and plus I love hitting the bong." After they had sex, she got pregnant cause DAL forgot to put on a condom because he is legally retarded. After the birth of their first kid, NE Coach, they said, "Let's get married!" on live T.V, but in all actuality, no one gave a shit.
By age 6, NE Coach was already learning how to make a NFL playbook with plays such as, Hang all black people, where everyone did curls, The Jews deserved it, which was everyone doing routes that if was tracked would literally spell out the Jews deserved it. Yes, he was on his way to become a great coach.
By age 15, he was coaching his local high schools football team. His quarterback was future Carolina Panthers quarterback, Matt Moore (A.K.A Habert Lilly), his main wide receiver was future New York Giants receiver Steve Smith. He had it all though and it seemed like everything was going well for him, until his dad was murdered by Al- Qaeda terrorists who were pissed off at him for referencing to Muhhamed in one of his lectures about different races. NE was extremely happy and went out to celebrate when he met, a girl named Barbara Streisand and they instantly fell in love. Although their relationship lasted a miniscule 6 hours, he loved every minute of it. The reason they broke up was because she found out that his family was full of KKK members and realize he was a Jew and Black hating racist, actually an overall racist towards anyone who wasn't white and christian. After this devastating blow he turned to Crack, heroine, weed, morning after pills, steroids, horse tranquilizers, pepto bismal, cough medicine, zantax, flinstones children vitamins, well, pretty much anything that was a drug he would take it in extreme amounts. On September 6th, 1992, he ODed, but somehow awoke 61 hours later with no side effects. 
Lil Wayne was charged with selling all those drugs to NE Coach
By 1997, NE Coach was down in the dumps and still very addicted to prescription drugs when he saw a vision after hitting the bong 7 times to make a movie called Saving Private Ryan, but when Steven Spielburg took his idea, he attempted suicide, which was very unsuccessful, in fact his head was successfully dislodged from the rest of his body, but somehow doctors found a way to keep him alive. They actually kept him alive by conjoining his body with the virtual world of Madden NFL Football. To this day he is still in the game, trapped and scared, call 1-800-665-8849 if you know who imprisoned him, cause we are pretty sure its illegal to infuse somebody into a video game.