User:Zen Clark/Herbert Gilliland
“He has some serious balls.”
“It is pitch black. You are likely to be infringing upon Locke's copyrights.”
“One of these days, everyone will bow down to me and my very superior intelligence.”
“I have permission from God himself to do this; if you did not know, we're great friends, me and Him!”
“Who the heck is this guy?!?!?!?!?!?!”
“Journey not to the Kingdom of Locke, for there live foul vipers and dark insects which breed and multiply in the shadows.”
“ The Light of the Diku License shall cause him to squirm and shrivel back into the depths of his cave!”
Herbert Gilliland III is a half-troll entrepreneur in the wastelands of some poor country in Africa. He is often found jumping across roof tops in the hopes of not being eaten by a Grue. Because of the fact that grues so desperately desire to eat Herbert, he is cronically afraid of the dark. When asked why the Grues are trying to eat him, he told the reporters that "They don't understand copyright law, and they don't want to credit me or give me my money."
Aliases[edit | edit source]
Locke, a name that he has been found using when trying to pick up little boys on DBZ MUDs.
NiMUD, a name used when advertizing his trap for young boys.
Laerrus, no one knows why he used this name.
Herbert Gilliland III, no one is positive if this is his real name or not.
Elwood, in some places his name is banned, and thus Elwood is used instead.
Sexuality[edit | edit source]
Although he claims to be straight, there is large controversy about whether or not his facination with Chris Woodward goes beyond the superficial. There are rumors that he writes love poems dedicated to Chris while in the bathroom and when he is on his MUD. Chris Woodard's parents, according to multiple accounts, have brought Herbert to court over the defilement of Chris's corpse at the funeral.
Patents[edit | edit source]
Herbert Gilliland III has a large number of patents ranging from a special use of lube' to advanced methods of high profile trolling. He is regularly found bringing in people to court for infringing upon his original ideas.