User:Witty Phantom

Hi, I'm Witty Phantom and I demand that my name be capitalised. Uncyclopedia helped me pass my exams. Thanks, Uncyclopedia!

I personally like to look at this site as a confused encyclopedia from the far future where the lack of information has made the archivists conflate the truth with the lies.

Fun facts:

• I sleep nude in a oxygen tent to give me sexual powers.
• I used to work in a sperm bank but was fired for drinking on the job.
• I have erectile dysfunction so I sometimes type in ALL CAPS to compensate for my lack of masculinity.
• My edit count is and I just so happen to have a sitting right here. And it's getting harder for you.

My convient links:

• User:Witty Phantom/Child Suicide
• User:Witty Phantom/Pingu
• User:Witty Phantom/Post-Masturbation Depression