User:Wild Weasel/WWGAE
Wild Weasel's Grammatical Award of Excellence (WWGAE)[edit | edit source]
During his tour of duty at Uncyclopedia, Mssr. Weasel sometimes comes across writing that is so profound, so excellent, so very clearly written with the madness of genius nipping at its heels that he feels compelled to bestow the WWGAE to lucky souls who almost certainly do not want it. For this reason, no one will ever actually receive a WWGAE - they will merely be honored on this page as having received one.
Catherine[edit | edit source]
- The first award is given to the author of the now defunct Catherine article for this testament to the goodness of man's endeavors:
"This dragon again is unique coz this dragon likes books and not fire! as mentioned earlier but dont mess with her coz u know she is a original dragon. "
Truly, this is grammatical excellence at work, and the author has discovered the bright secret of writing English good.
Columbus, OH[edit | edit source]
- WWGAE number two is given to the author of the seminal Columbus, OH article for this literary gem:
"Yo check it. Tha Six One Fo' be da most def joint in da hizz-ole state of Ohizzle, ya hurrd? We be jammin' dat shizat on LOCK DOWN jung!!1!"
Truly, this was not written by a white guy. Not at all.
Kings of Chaos[edit | edit source]
- WWGAE number three is given to the author of this following Oscar Wilde quote from Kings of Chaos:
"OMFG that n00b sabd al mi invizebilletee sheeldz one11!!ONE!11!!"
If I try to translate this 1337 crap, all I get is "Oh, my fucking God, that newbie said all my invisibility shields!" Now that's comedy...isn't it?
Larry Jesus Schaffer[edit | edit source]
- WWGAE number four is given to the author of this slandanity (?) from Larry Jesus Schaffer:
"Now Lj resides in a bean bag chair, rubbing his "bewwy" with unfermented frankenscence and mur. All the while meditating on the imaginary ass that he wants to get. (jilly, chantelle, north american grizzly bear.)- named steve."
Bonus points for mentioning a grizzly bear, and negative infinity points for everything else.
Sectumsempra[edit | edit source]
- WWGAE number five is awarded to the clueless racist behind Sectumsempra, especially for cleverly covering up their racism with deft backtracking:
"the accio spell summons items when used properly. Many black men have tried to use this spell to steal stuff, but they are too stupid to realize that people put anti theft protection spells on their items. The intelligent black men, such as rick james and the Gumbles and Cleveland from family guy, are ashamed. "
Black people, unite, and mock this author.
Teddy Bautista[edit | edit source]
- WWGAE number seis is given to the hearty Spanglish director of this quote from the side of speaking there:
"That Don Eduardo bautista was molding at that time unpleasant and unfaithful a personality already is something that, again, we left to the speculations in Internet, that full space of thieves and prostitutas that later goes all the day lowering mp3s for vendérselos to whom they buy in top blanket, another group of pigs without scruples."
Yes, my thoughts exactly.
Newb[edit | edit source]
- WWGAE number seven is shot with a rocket launcher directly at the author of Newb, who reveals a lot - in fact, far too much - with their impassioned introduction to Newb.
"Newb is an acronym for... um... ummmm... STFU! I'll think o somethin! You guys on this forum all have you little clicks and treat anyone new to hte site like their retards. Stop falming me! This site 's admins fucking suck."
I don't know whether they're on to something, or they need to actually read their own writing. Either way, wow!
Pyramid Man[edit | edit source]
- WWGAE OCHO is sent via Triangle Man (who beat up Person Man with a frying pan...who came up with Person Man?) to the author of Pyramid Man, who singlehandedly proves why ten seconds of proofreading is worth a lifetime of avoided shame.
"Dispite hard drugs and social rehabilitation, his problems increased, constantly killing the same woman over and over again, while following men who recently lost there wives to Homocide. It was then he released his third and final album, "Nurse bangin", which was met with critical appraise, but ultimatly a failure. "
I mean, I think I know what he's saying, but then again, I don't.