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Republic of east european pirates/Respubliki Vostochnoĭ Yevropy piratov/Pеспублики Восточной Европы пиратов Republic of Piratov Piratov | |||||
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| Anthem: For our great leader country and hatred of ninjas. | |||||
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| Capital | seksualʹnyĭ zemli zver (сексуальный земли зверь) | ||||
| Largest city | New Tortuga | ||||
| Demonym | Piratovonian | ||||
| Official language(s) | Russian, pirate, generic-country-ending-in-stanish, Piratovian | ||||
| Government | Piratist communism | ||||
| ‑ President | Chuck norris | ||||
| ‑ Prime Minister | The flying spagetti monster | ||||
| Currency | Pieces of eight/ vodka | ||||
| Ethnic groups | 40% East european Pirate, 10% Chinese, 90% french | ||||
| Calling code | 84993884939332193844 | ||||
Piratov Is a large country in South America. However, due to a large amount of pirate extremists, The country is not allowed in America and is officially next to Belarus. The main jobs available are plundering, kidnapping, slaughterer and secret police officer.
The country is known to be home to a large amount of communist leaders and commanders for the pirates in there war against ninjas.
Although some people have tried to argue it cannot be pirate due to a lack of anything wet, except rum, they have all mysteriously gone missing
and so it is also generally excepted as an island. The most interesting thing about this country is it's herds of majestic seagulls. unfortunately this has resulted in a large amount of french tourists.
Geography[edit | edit source]
This large south american island is famous for being being 'the least likely place to find water near Russia' and is very, very, very, dry. However, the piro-communist regime deny this and claim that it is only handing out each village 6 buckets of water a week because it loves its people.
There are six active volcanoes on the island, each one was caused by chuck Norris sneezing, however his snot-lava is thought to bring good luck to those that throw lamps at it.
History[edit | edit source]
The history of the country is officially illegal to talk about due to the laws of the piro-communist regime, but a few pieces of information have been discovered. Unfortunately it is all very boring and nothing happens until 1987 when the road between Piratov and Belarus Brazil was temporally blocked by the seagull herd.
Politics[edit | edit source]
Piro-communism is a very odd matter. Only a small amount of the true piro-communist fully understand it. To understand the basics you must go through an odd process that will make the concept less difficult. Please remember the following steps to understand it must only be done by experts. 1) Mix caffeine, battered cod (blended into a liquid), vodka and calpol. Burn the mixture until it is completely black and then leave in the freezer overnight in some water. 2)Ground the solidified muck into a dust and inhale through the ear. 3)You will now imagine a small octopus. Kick it in the face. 4)If harmed severely enough a small Bangladeshi boy will appear. He will ask you to follow him. Do so. 5)After about 8 hours, you will arrive at a statue, headbutt it and all the knowledge of piro-communism will enter your brain. 6)You should wake up about 3 weeks later. Once you do, you can apply for the piro-communism test, which if completed you can join the only piratovian political party. Well done!
Education[edit | edit source]
There is one school in Piratov. Anyone that applies is shot for nerdism.
Sport[edit | edit source]
Boat racing is very common but unfortunately Piratov is banned from the olympic games. In Football (or in gayish soccer) The Piratov national team annually play both Somalia and the carra-bean for the pirate trophy and have one it 8 out of 23948 times, most recently 4th october 2011. (The match is played twice weekly.)