User:VitalOD/Article about stuff

Thanks to advanced computer enhancing on a photograph posted on the net it was revealed last night that the latest wave of Delta shaped UFO's being reported across the country is yet another hoax perpetrated by the giant flying turtles.

Due to some recent advances in computer technology scientists have finally been able to enhance footage of the 9/11 incident. Many people are hoping that this may provide some vital clues into the real cause of the towers collapse.

Nikola_Tesla :Of course almost everyone knows about how tessler first invented what has now become the worlds most popular fizzy drink by adding old Nickel Cadmium batteries into the bottles of vitualy any liquid he produced a beverage that would give an near fatal intense electric discharge across the tongue of anyone putting the liquid into their mouth.Realising the shock completely destroyed the taste buds of the person drinking it Tessler was able to get away with putting anything he liked into the bottles without anyone noticing to much.After many months of searching for something very cheap to fill the bottles with he decided to use luke-warm drain water as he liked the colour.

Aleister Crowley pictured at the Hastings Hospital Accident and Emergency waiting room, following an unfortunate incident involving friend Victor Neuburg, the Book of Abramelin the Mage, two pounds of animal fat and a "King Dong" vibrator.

Tony Blair Jobless tony has turned to gardening to help pay the rent.

Albert Einstein : As we all know Einstein's life came to a tragic end when he imploded in a spectacularly unsuccessful attempt to win a bet that he could generate a mini black hole by running around the world faster than the speed of light after getting into a heated drunken argument with a small hand held battery operated flashlight. Then tragedy struck as Einstein drew level with the velocity of light he became infinitely dense instantaneously passing through every point in the universe. This had the unfortunate side effect of giving him infinite gravitational force which in turn caused the infinitely large Einstein and the entire universe of space and time to fold in on itself until it disappeared into an infinitely small point that is commonly referred to by some of the world's most respected theoretical astrophysicists as a lil' biddy dot.

Bush scanner attack : the attack starts. These two picture took 14 years to make and cost the lives of 28 Mexicans midgets in the process.The final render was calculated 1 pixel at a time in binary by 58000 one armed blind Chinese orphans on small wooden abacus's. The entire operation cost almost $20.

Bush scanner attack : Old GWB takes the strain.

Smoking Bush :As much as id like to take the credit for this picture i have to admit its not one of my modifications at all but is in fact totally real..honest. George W is one of my best customers. But dont tell anyone its probably supposed to be a secret.

lol. David copperfield warns kids about the dangers of drugs

NWO Oil : To get the effect just right on this picture it was first broken up into 4396 separate pieces and the forcibly tattooed onto the souls of 2198 under privileged children feet. Each section was then removed by way of a large industrial bacon slicer before being being stitched back together into a giant patchwork which was then used as a rough guide for the final image.

Jesus is back ..and hes pissed!I cheated a bit with this picture , its actually the backside of a small piece of burnt toast i got with my breakfast one morning. I was lucky enough to have an industrial sized high definition color laser photo copying machine on me at the time so was able to get this scanned image before i ate it.

These pictures were randomly generated by merging the pictures of lee harvey oswald,Saddam Hussain, Colonel gaddafi, Timethy Mcvey and the Shah of Iran , Osama Binladin , the HIV virus, Hitler and Goatse.

lol. find ya own link to goatse.

Bruce Lee and Dan Inosanto A never before seen photo of Bruce Lee taking the piss out of his midget student Dan Inosanto for trying to steal his Martial Arts style called JKD. * real history* -Just before Bruce Lee died he revoked Dan Inosantos teaching license and told him not to teach Jeet Kune do. As soon as bruce died Dan didnt waste any time trying to cash in by making up a martial arts style and pretending this was Bruces. Eventually the Lee estate took dan to court and forced him to give up the name Jeet Kune Do. This got changed to JKD so Dan could carry on disrespecting the final requests or his late master by selling his bullshit martial art to all the impressionable kids in the world.

Many people world wide were affected by a catastrophic accident in the manufacture of BDC

Chuck Norris was the only know victim of ES1-PRC force to use his left hand from now on.