User:UNKNOWNFILE/Text to speech

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From Unsicklopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Text to speech technology is used to transform text into audio, by way of an interpreter.

Origins[edit | edit source]

Text to speech software was originally developed in Greece in twenty oh-one BC. Its inventor, Yeripides, had been bored, so he secretly invented the technology. The other philosiphers tried the invention, but laughed to death since it was unable to pronounce certain words correctly, and only guessed at it. Yeripides, thinking the world was in danger of laughing to death, hid the technology under a boulder so nobody could revive the ancient weapon.

However, in the 1990's, the technology was found by an explorer known only as Siveh Thimoozis. He accidentally uncovered it while digging for buried treasure, and hid the manuscripts in his pocket and returned home.

Text to speech is unleashed[edit | edit source]

Within days, Thimoozis had rewritten the ancient manuscripts into machine code, and released it onto the internet. It was immediately downloaded by people visiting his website, aych tea tea pee, slash slash double-you double-you double-you google com.

Thimoozis, not knowing the true power of the ancient manuscripts, had unleashed a vicious cycle across the internet. The technology, still full of flaws, caused the world to go into a state of emergency as the technology caused over a million people to go into comas, and two million died. The authorities then detained Thimoozis, and executed him for crimes against humanity.

The bugfix[edit | edit source]

The software was then brought into a laboratory hidden five kilometers underground. The scientists tried to fix the software to read more common words instead of unintelligent garble, and succeeded. The software was re-released, and the state of emergency was lifted.

However, the next year came, and with it also came the dreaded Tee Ex Tee Ess Pea Kay. This exploited a series of bugs in the software, which couldn't understand the newer words such as lawl. It was ultimately decided not to patch the software any further due to the rapidly evolving English vocabulary.

The other problem that came was the fact that other new words and terms had appeared. One such term, miss piss, had come into popular use throughout the internet. Though the software was easily fixable, nobody did a thing to stop it.

( This article is incomplete as of now, so please wait )