User:Turb0-Sunrise/HowTo:Blow up a whale
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That fucker wants to go. See that flipper? He's just asking for it.
Wife left you? Lost your pet ferret? Accidentaly[citation needed] hit a toddler with your car? Blowing up a whale should get everybody off your case. If it doesn't, blow another one up. If that still doesn't work, you're fucked. Move to Alaska or something. It's the national sport up there.
What was that, Larry?
Blowing a whale?
Damn it! I said blowing up, not blowing!
Obtaining whale[edit | edit source]
Obtaining the whale is probably the hardest part. You can't buy them just anywhere. Common places to find whales include:
- Beaches
- The ocean[No shit, Sherlock]
- Stores in costal towns
- Walmart
Note: The best whales are the big ones. Big in multiple ways.