User:Tripod2282/Joke Archive

Hi! This is my joke archive. It contains all of the jokes that have been featured as "Joke of the Day" on my user page. Please DO NOT add new jokes here. If you would like to submit new jokes to me, please email them.

Catholic School

Little Johnny was failing miserably in school, so his parents dicided to take him out of public school and put him in a catholic school. Within a month, his grades skyrocket up to A's. His parents were both happy and confused. So, one night at the dinner table, little Johnny's mother asked him why he was doing so badly in public school, but then started doing so well in a catholic school. "Because I knew they were serious about school," he replyed. "The first day I walked in, they had a guy nailed to a big 'plus' sign."

First posted 17:21, 20 April 2006 (UTC)

Body Parts

A science teacher is talking to her class about body parts. After finishing the lesson, the teacher decides to give a pop quiz. "Alright, class," says the teacher. "Who can tell me which part of the anatomy can grow to ten times it's regular size when stimulated?" Little Mary raises her hand. "Mrs. Johnson," she says, "I am shocked at you. You shouldn't be telling us these things!" Mrs. Johnson looks surprised, then calls on little Johnny, who has his hand raised. "The answer is the human iris." he says proudly. "Very good." says the teacher who then turns back to little Mary. "First of all," says the teacher, "I can see that you weren't paying attention. Second, you have a very dirty mind. And third, you're going to be very disappointed some day."

First posted 13:10, 21 April 2006 (UTC)

Head Stand in Hell

A man dies and gets sent down to hell. Satan comes to greet him and explains the system. He leads the guy over to three doors. "You must choose which room to spend all eternity in." says Satan. The guy goes into the first room. It stretches as far as the eye can see, with people standing on their heads on a concrete floor. "I don't think so." says the guy. "The floor looks too hard." He goes into the second room. Again, it is full of people standing on their heads, but this time, on a gravel floor. "This room looks even worse than the first." says the guy as he winces at the thought. He enters the third room, which is full of people sitting in big comfy armchairs, knee-deep in poop, sipping cups of tea and eating cookies. "Hmm, this doesn't look so bad." says the guy. "At least I'll have something to eat and drink." So, he goes back to the main lobby where Satan is waiting, and tells him the he chooses door number three. As he is escorted back into the room, he hears a voice blaring over the loudspeaker, saying "Alright, everyone! Tea break is over! Back on your heads!"

First posted 15:01, 22 April 2006 (UTC)