User:Totnesmartin
Totnesmartin is a rare, common animal, vegetable and mineral found only in Europe, Asia, North and South America, Oceania, Antarctica, Africa and in at least four oceans. It is hard, soft, liquid, gaseous, with a melting point several degrees lower than its freezing point.
Animal[edit | edit source]
Totnesmartin is a member of the Partridge Family, closely related to David Cassidy. Totnesmartin eats, sleeps and breathes, sometimes all at the same time. Its reproductive cycle is a BMX. Its flesh tastes of chicken, just like everything else (except chicken).
Vegetable[edit | edit source]
Totnesmartin is a very useful plant. It is grown as a lawn, shrubbery, orchard, plantation and weed. Totnesmartin can grow to at least one millimetre in height. The fruit tastes of chicken, just like everything else (except chicken).
Mineral[edit | edit source]
Totnesmartin is a rock, a brick, and a gem, but only in a good light. When wet it looks like a lump. Its colour is greyish brown, pinky-red, yellowy green, browny pink, clear, opaque, dull and shiny. as a condiment, it tastes of chicken, just like everything else (except chicken)
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- The liver of a polar bear is poisonous. It tastes of chicken, just like everything else (except chicken).
- There are 5000 species of hoverfly. They taste like chicken.
- Viagra was discovered by scientists searching for a hair restorer. It tastes like chicken.
- There are no public toilets in Liverpool.
- Cairo is the largest city in Africa.
Trivia about Totnesmartin[edit | edit source]
- Totnesmartin has at least one CD, book, sock, hair and/or brain cell.
- Totnesmartin once walked past Jo Brand in the dark.
- Totnesmartin saw a seagull this morning, and had a capuccino. It tasted of chicken. So did the capuccino.
- Totnesmartin probably needs to tidy up sometime.
Popular culture[edit | edit source]
- Totnesmartin heard something on the radio.
- Totnesmartin once played a computer game.
- Totnesmartin once saw a television programme in a shop window.
- Totnesmartin read a book once.