User:Tiffinki
Introduction[edit | edit source]
Pages about you, your friends, your schoolmates, your teachers, etc. WILL be deleted on sight. -- Uncyclopedia advisement
"Yeah, huff you, too!" - Tiffinki's response to the above advisement
This article is written by the subject, but please read it before you delete it. If it's insane enough, let it live!
Anyone who huffs this vanity article will be cursed - the curse will be to become very similar to Tiffinki!
Tiffinki once picked up Codeine's Mum in the cab, though it was a long time ago. A very nice lady, indeed.
Wikipedia has no article named "Tiffinki," though it should have, as much as the man has edited it!
Tiffinki, the Internet pseudonym of a Hoosier taxi driver and wannabe fantasy fiction writer, is listed under the article "Dork" as someone who has dorked. The listing is probably right, but this is not confirmed.
Appearance and Mental Characteristics[edit | edit source]
This dork is a short (5', 4"), overweight blond man with a deformed spine but a surprisingly good sense of humor and fine social skills for a complete geek. Although a confirmed introvert, Tiffinki suffers constant exposure to people - real-life people (ohhhh.... shit!) in the normal course of his job. This has bumped up his social skills clear from "dead flat geek level" to nearly "cool guy" level (but not quite). Thus, he is some highly unusual and rather strange hybrid of the two.
The job even netted him a live-in girlfriend (Beth). That lasted for eight years, but is now beached. Recovery of the relationship is uncertain and will take a long time even if it happens.
Obviously, being a taxi driver is no place for an introvert, but Tiffinki is stuck right where he is by his spinal birth defect. Gotta give the man credit for putting a :) on it!
Entertainment Interests[edit | edit source]
In addition to a number of the entertainment interests common to geeks (editing Uncyclopedia and Wikipedia, Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, Star Wars, and Dungeons & Dragons among others), Tiffinki enjoys listening to the other drivers and the dispatcher talk on the dispatch radio while he's driving the cab. Sometimes this bothers him, though, as it makes him feel 'plugged in' - like a Borg.
Tiffinki also enjoys writing fantasy fiction, though with the 12-hour shifts of his job, he has very little time for that. Most unfortunate.
Tiffinki likes 1980s pop and Celtic New Age music.
Tiffinki recently started reading Uncyclopedia for laughs. His writer's itch couldn't resist, though, so this is his article, among a couple others.
Societal Status[edit | edit source]
Tiffinki is complete misfit, though it's hard to say exactly why. He is noted for being mild-mannered and polite in the extreme. Maybe that's the reason.
Normal Activities[edit | edit source]
Playing with cats (sneaky little finks!)
Watching fish in the aquarium (the tank is a lot of work, but it's worth it!)
Making sure that fish stay in the aquarium, kitties stay out (failure could have bad results for the fish)
Swearing at the personal vehicle (a mini-van that is very posh but doesn't run worth a damn)
Playing Dungeons & Dragons (isn't that for people much younger?)
Picking up All Kinds of different people and giving them rides all over town for a fee, shared with the boss lady (this is such an adventure that one wonders why he bothers playing D&D!)
Trading insults with fellow cabbies (you f---ing geek! you slosh-brained redneck!)
Reading news and information on the Web (bad habit)
Playing computer games (great fun!)
Seeking solace and comfort listening to Enya CDs (her songs are soothing lullabys)
Sleeping as much as possible (likes to dream about Enya and some other women)
Avoiding touching animals sexually (dislikes even the thought)
Goals In Life[edit | edit source]
Become wealthy (likely story!)
Live in a clean, healthy, congenial home with Beth or some other lady (maybe doable with a lot of work)
This article was written by the subject, who is a sleep-deprived, mildly delusional dork of a veteran taxi driver of little noteworthiness
Update![edit | edit source]
No dice getting wealthy, but did get back with Beth in a nice home. Not bad for a physically handicapped geek.