User:Theycallmebreandan

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

17 June 2011

This one has been camouflaged to look like a normal rat.

Mad-Scientist-Laboratory, England -- Mad scientists have discovered that their giant man-eating rats remember things better when their brains aren't shut off. "This comes as a surprise," said Harold MadEye a leader and legend among his fellow mad-scientists. It is especially a surprise considering the drastic measures taken to lower brain functionality in domestic monsters. Madeye later said, "Up till now all our work had been put toward enhancing the abilities of creatures to make them more ginormous, more venomous, more fanged, and otherwise smelly. We had no idea the impact of shutting down their brains." In fact research shows shutting down the brain might not only cause severe memory loss, but they may become completely ineffective. Reducing years of hard work into blubbering rotting mess.

But alas there is hope. MadEey promises that steps are already being taken to further reduce the importance of brain function. "There are already hints that we may be able remove the brain completely."