User:The Woodburninator/Beating a Dead Horse

Beating a dead horse is the colloquial term used for when people in close proximity to a horse, either through riding the horse, walking alongside the horse, or through random happenstance, find that the horse is, in fact, dead, and decide that this horse deserves to be beaten for its transgressions. Or just for fun. Either one.

Being the horse's owner is not a requirement to beat the dead horse. All one really needs is a free afternoon, some creativity and an excess of gumption.

The most famous case of beating the dead horse came from Sir Reginald Bartemius Martin Smith Westingshire III, whose horse had ruined a fine Tuesday with his beloved Grace Darling by up and dying right in the middle of their late mid-afternoon constitutional. Upon Grace fleeing the scene in a fit of cowardice and fear, Sir Reginald unleashed an assault on the horse that he usually saved for only his most unruly of maidservants. The horse, named Gibbons for his beloved grandfather, truly got what was coming to him.

Beating the Dead Horse

Sir Reginald removed his light summer sport coat, and rolled up the sleeves. The horse lay upon the ground of his family meadow, crushing the grass and daises beneath him. A couple of butterflies had landed on the horse's side, taking in the warmth of the sunlight on the mild spring day. Their beautiful black, orange and white-spotted wings moved gently with every stir of the breeze. Sir Reginald kicked the horse in its soft, unprotected belly. The butterflies rushed upwards, feeling the reverberations from the leather boot meeting the hide. Sir Reginald caught one in his hand. He held it gently, studying it closely. His eyes narrowed, and turned harsh. His hand closed tight.

When Sir Reginald opened it again, all he saw was powder, mostly, with a piece of goo here and there. He smacked the horse right in the face with his butterfly hand, leaving a smear of color across one side. This made him chuckle.

TEST!!!