User:The UnIdiot/Why

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Have you ever felt the need to purchase overpriced coffee at Starbucks? I'm sure that at some point in your life, you have. Even though you could just as easily gone to the Dunkin Donuts across the street, you though it would be nice to drop in, sit down, and order a Venti-sized Mocha Valencia. Perhaps, with time, you would even come to understand what the hell you just ordered! Well, as I'm sure you quickly realized, although almost anyone can walk in and order a coffee at a Starbucks, not everyone can get away with sitting down and trying to enjoy their vaguely coffee-flavored beverage, and here are a few of the reasons why.

You don't have a goatee (or other artsy facial hair)[edit | edit source]

Think about it for a second. Have you ever seen someone sitting down at a Starbucks without a goatee? If you have, I guarantee they had some other sort of artsy hair, whether it was on their face or in their pants. Maybe they had a chin-strap. Perhaps a soul patch. But no one sits down at a Starbucks without some sort of artsy facial hair. If you try and sit down, you'll get a handful of evil glances from all of the seated patrons, until eventually one of them tells you that your 5 o'clock shadow doesn't count as artsy facial hair.

You're not a graphic design major[edit | edit source]

You don't own a Macbook[edit | edit source]

Kenny G pisses you off[edit | edit source]