User:TheLedBalloon/The nonexistent page

And here's a nice image. Notice how it doesn't exist? I feel it goes well with the page. You know, the one that doesn't exist?

“Normally a quote would go here, but this page doesn't need one. Because it doesn't exist.”

~ A nonexistent person on the nonexistent page

This page does NOT exist. What? What do you mean you don't believe me? It doesn't! I'm telling you, this page simply doesn't exist! I mean really, if it existed, would I really be sitting here trying to convince you of its nonexistence? Frankly, I don't care. I just don't want you to go through your entire life thinking that this page exists, when really it doesn't. Imagine the psychological repercussions. I'm sure that you really want the page to exist, but we can't always get what we want. The page just doesn't exist.

Proof

What? You want proof that this page does not exist? How can you prove that anything doesn't exist? There's no mathematical formula, no scientific equation. Honestly, what do you expect me to do, literally look everywhere in the entire universe and all of infinity for this page? If I didn't find it, you'd just say I "must've missed it" or something. And really, me check all of infinity for something? I can barely find the TV remote when I lose it! You'll just have to trust me on this one. This page does NOT exist.

History

Are you serious? I mean really, the history of a page that doesn't exist? If the page never existed, it was never even part of history! A history section on a page that does not exist wouldn't even exist! Or would it? Perhaps, even though this page does NOT exist, its history section DOES exist, perhaps floating formlessly in space and time somewhere, merely waiting, waiting for a time when this page, which does NOT exist, will in fact come into existence. Maybe the history section is merely waiting for a purpose, a reason to exist. But that doesn't change the fact that this page does NOT exist!

Trivia

Space. The great emptiness. And yet, between stars and planets there lies, in one infinite anticlimax, things that don't exist. Like this page, for example.

Oh, this is just what I needed! A freakin' trivia section on the page that does not exist! Well, here's nice piece of trivia for you: This page does NOT exist! There. Happy? Are you glad there was a trivia section? No? Well don't worry, there's plenty more where that came from!

• This page does NOT exist!
• This page does NOT exist!
• This page does NOT exist!
• This page does NOT exist!
• This page does NOT exist!
• This page does NOT exist!
• Actually, this page DOES exist......NOT!!
• This page does NOT exist!

There's your precious trivia, did you like that? Did it make you happy? Did you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Well guess what? I don't care. Nobody cares! But none of that changes the fact that this page does NOT exist!

Well, the page exists NOW

You're damn right it does! Since your endlessly stupid claim that the page doesn't exist caused me to yell at you, this page now exists, consisting mostly of, you guessed it, me yelling at you. Ah, the (nonexistant?) irony of it all. Thanks a crapload for wasting my time, you asshole. Ah, it doesn't matter anyway. By the time I get back to my computer, an admin will have seen this page. Just give it a day, and once again it will be true that this page does NOT exist.