User:ThaBritMan/Diving Techniques

A diving technique is a technique used for diving, diving is used to cause grevious bodily harm to the diver and those in the surrounding area so as to give people the right to claim on their insurance and profiteer.Audienced diving is popular with both professional divers and amatuers alike, it not only provides great fun and entertainment but lots of viable witnesses. Diving can be done anywhere but it is recommended to be done in a pool as insurers will not otherwise pay out.

Cannonballing

The 'Cannonball' is a diving technique favoured by the hyper-active 9 year old it has a high splash to surface area ratio and is therefore good to use for annoying other pool users. The cannonball is performed by taking ones arms and putting them behind the head and then kissing your backside goodbye. However it's strengths are also it's drawbacks, it will not cause much damage as the eyes and other vital organs are shielded by the arms and legs. Before the dive you need to gather as many swimmers in to a small crowd to make sure that the high splash to surface area ratio is not wasted, Those susceptible to drowning are good targets for instance the elderly. A good cannonball can always be felt by the diver in agonizng pain to the face and back of the head.

Belly Flop

Perhaps the most elegant of all diving techniques, the belly flop is the goal set in all diver minds. Many people aim to pull off an amazing belly flop, but many have failed. Most successful attempts at belly flopping have been in America, where divers have managed to pull off the elegant and graceful move resulting in a vibrant red chest and hemmorhaging. The large spread of the body creates large collateral damage to those in the landing area, but for this to happen great timing and dexterity is required the beat advice we can give is to dive flat smothering your target befor they can move.