User:Tapiocaboy/Griffith University
“I wish that I went to a University made out of incredibly fast chocolate toys...”
“They don't treat their faculty very well...”
“I just really, really like cheese.”
Griffith University is a magical place where dreams come true. The university was built beside a race course, a chocolate factory and a giant toy store. Students graduating from Griffith describe it as 'just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy... or just like crap' Despite there perminint bane on religion, politics and anything reasonably intelligent, they don't function at ALL like online forum in any way. At all. Ever. :) :) :)
Narration[edit | edit source]
The universitae is narritted by the muzzings of Getamungstit, the strange iboriginale dream-time creature that lifes in the Heart of Griffith And Devours, the hopes and, dreams, of straight, teetolar or mature AGE STUDENTS. It is protected by the yellow and black clad Student Council workers, whor trained in the ancient Japanese samurai code of Bushido.
The Campus Magazine[edit | edit source]
“A piece of literature so fucking terrible I clawed my own eyes out after reading it.”
“As camp as a row of pink tents; I quite fancy him actually.”
Getamungstit was a creature of such renown it spawned a truly apalling magazine currently edited by something resembling the moldy dregs from the bottom of the vegetable drawer of a fridge. It's other writing staff consist of a group of talentless fucking hacks who are entirely unfamiliar with the concept of humour or literature. The magazine is said to be an unecessary contribution to global deforestation, a pointless burden on the finances of the Student Guild (many people are hoping the magazine will die an agonising death with the introduction of Voluntary Student Unionism) and even unfit for use as toilet paper, unless forced to do so at gunpoint. And even then, only with great reluctance, will most people allow the magazine to be used to remove faeces from their nether regions.
Religious Intolerance[edit | edit source]
If the Student Council find Christians, Muslims or various other religious groups, they are summarily executed. (The exclusion being for Scientologists and Wicca as they aren't real religions.) The same goes for politicians, except for Large Russian Communists, who have immunity because they are big and Russian.
Rivalry with Bond[edit | edit source]
Griffith University's rivelry with other lokal university Bond is the stuff of legend. It all started in 1980somethn which Griffith was not unable to inquire the sand-stone campus it wanted for its proposed Gold Coast cowboi facility. Instead James Bond founded his own golden university at that location so he, for the purpose of traininng Australian spies for ASIO so that later that day they culd be stolin by the British for they're continued aspionag afforts in Russia and Kiwi Island (see Fake Plastic Rock and Griffith University). Since that day in 1982 Griffith and Bond have been carrying our bad clendestane sabbottague missions no one another. However it is somewhat easier 4 Griffith cause Bond only has 4 campusees whereas Griffith has intentionally decentralised its position.
It should be noted that Griffith Medicine testtoobes kicked the shite outof Bond Medicine testtoobes in last saturdays touch football series. This is because Bond Medicine suck harder than an automatic sucking machine on full power, on national suck day, in suck land. But then again we like to touch... eachother... hehehe.
Griffith Unviersity English Learning Institute[edit | edit source]
At Griffith, all students have to inroll in composellry ENGLISH learning classes. We have alot of ppl who study arts &&& basket-weaving-101, and so ENGLISH is a must have core subjct. :) :) :)