User:SystemPhantom/article ideas

here are some ideas for articles i plan to make

tom scott related things

Onosecond

Onosecond: measurement of time invented by Tom Scott.

“The "onosecond" is the second after you make a terrible mistake. The second when you realise what you just did and that there's nothing you can do about it, the second when all the now-inevitable consequences flash through your mind. It is the second after you send a text message to the wrong person, after you delete the wrong file, after you spill the secret that you thought they already knew. The "onosecond" is that stomach-dropping, breath-stopping moment, when all you can do is say "oh, no".”

~ Tom Scott, 2020

link to onosecond video

maybe include a section called "Examples of Onoseconds in history"

The Technical Difficulties

The Technical Difficulties: The comedy troupe consisting of members Tom Scott, Matt Gray, Gary Brannan and Chris Joel. My plan for this article is to make it like some sort of mafia with Mad Cap'n Tom Scott as the leader. I also plan to make "Tom Scott", "Matt Gray", "Chris Joel" and "Gary Brannan" redirect to this article. My first draft of the article is below:

Led by the ruthless Mad Cap'n Tom Scott, The Technical Difficulties is the most fearsome gang in all of England. Despite being only four members in size, nobody dares to step too close to their territory out of fear, for these four men possess powers of calibre untold.

Mad Cap'n Tom Scott: both the brains and the brawn of the operation, with decisiveness outsmarting even the greatest of commanders, and a visceral, brutal manner of combat that makes even the toughest of men surrender. Scott tends to get up close and personal with his trusty cutlass, as it's hard to lead your men to the front lines from a distance, after all. Serving a background role is not what Scott does; if you're under attack by Scott, you best believe he'll make his presence known. Scott is known to shout certain chants to empower the other members when they enter the engagement period of combat, such as "ALL RUM T'BE TAX FREE!", "FIX BROKEN BRITAIN!" and "SLICE SOME LIMBS OFF!"

Matt Gray: Expert driver of the one and only Mattmobile, custom-fitted with illegal parts and an extra large trunk for all the gang's tools and weapons. Although you're supposed to drive on the left side of the road in Britain, it doesn't seem to matter for Gray since everyone swerves out of the way once they lay eyes on the Mattmobile. Matt tends to be more of a logistics man, delivering supplies and transporting the other three men to the right place at the right time, but if he must do the dirty work, he'll drift into battle just in time to ensure his targets won't escape a collision with the Mattmobile, an encounter very few live to tell the tale of.

Gary Brannan: Gary's studied millennia worth of weapon design, using the thousands of archival materials memorized in his brain to forge the team's weapons to the highest degree of quality there is. His swords the sharpest around, his rifles the most accurate, his bows the strongest and his shields the most durable; the tools of Brannan's craftsmanship are single-handedly responsible for winning the gang hundreds of fights and thousands of people's hearts. Brannan does it all; there's no weakness in him to be found. When you're up against Brannan, you best know he has more experience and knowledge with weaponry than an army thousands large combined. Whether it be by musket, by bow, by dagger, sword or mace, it's only a matter of time before he smashes your face.

I haven't written Chris Joel's bit yet.

I also want to somehow incorporate Reverse Trivia, Citation Needed, The Experiments, Two Of These People Are Lying, and Adventures into the article, maybe these could be codenames for some specific heists they have done or something like that, although a heist called "Adventures" sounds pretty boring. My best idea for Adventures is to make a section of the article called "Adventures" and then write some weird shit referencing the actual Adventures like Matt expanding his vehicular arsenal, introducing the Mattcopter (illegally obtained attack helicopter) and the Micro Mattmobile (a skateboard) and i'm sure there's something funny to come up with about Mad Cap'n Tom conquering a volcano in hell.

Other things to include:

Lesser known, however, is Scott's culinary mastery. Scott took to learning the art of the tongue once he realized the effectiveness of a well-fed man in battle. Scott's signature meals include:

• Pastaargh: kettle-boiled pasta served with kettle-boiled marinara sauce.

• The 30 Second Bacon Sandwich: utilizing the power of a blowtorch, this is a method of speedily conjuring a hot sandwich if time be of the essence!

made up ideologies

Exactism

Exactism: Fallacious ideology based on the idea that one should strive to make exact measurements rather than just guessing a number that seems good enough; it would obviously be much better for society if we didn't waste so much time on lining up our rulers juuuuust right.

Cyclism

Cyclism: Political ideology based on cyclists. Policies of cyclism include capital punishment for car users, bicycle mandates, and installation of Dutch as an official language.

other

Charlie Gordon

Charlie Gordon: I had an idea where I would write a flowers for algernon article or just an article on Charlie Gordon where it is initially filled with spelling errors and statements that barely make sense, like how charlie gordon wrote in his earliest progress reports, then the article slowly gets more and more coherent before dropping back down to the realm of IP user writing.

Someone 15 years ago was working on a flowers for algernon article but they haven't made any actual edits since 2012 apart from one in 2018 requesting to have all their userspace articles deleted, so i think it's unfortunately going to be the case that that one isn't getting finished anytime soon.

My Deer Friend Nokotan

My Deer Friend Nokotan: the only idea i have so far is to make the literal translation of the japanese title of the show be "Funny Deer Girl" but i am excited for this article's potential since the show itself is so fucking peak

Alternative Facts

Alternative Facts: "Alternative Facts" is an early 2000s video game for the PS2. The game is set in the Cold War-era United States in which the player is simultaneously an undercover Soviet spy sent to operate as a double agent in America, and also an American spy sent to operate as a double agent in the Soviet Union.

The game's name is derived from the player's need to construct and keep track of a complex network of consistent lies and use deceptive rhetorical tactics in conversation to keep anyone else from finding out they are a quadruple agent. This is referred to as "presenting alternative facts" in-game when the lies and rhetorical tactics are used in conversation, and the network of consistent lies itself is called "The Alternative Facts", with both of these being referred to broadly as "alternative facts". It is vitally important to use alternative facts perfectly, as it is extremely easy for the player to instantly compromise themselves if even a single piece of information gets shared to the wrong person.

The use of alternative facts in gameplay starts out fairly simple, such as using basic logical fallacies and spreading misinformation in act I of the game's story. In act II, more complex forms of deception are used, such as carefully violating Grice's maxims and forging entire documents, and beginning in act III the use of alternative facts becomes so complicated that the game becomes pretty much unintelligible.

The game got really shit reviews because literally no game critic who played it understood what the hell was going on after getting to act III.

The game has 20 acts in total, and the furthest anyone has ever gotten was about halfway through act IV in 2016 after [smart person name], with a measured IQ of 245 at the start of their playthrough, gave up after spending several years studying the lore of Alternative Facts. Their IQ had reportedly plummeted to -35 after spending so long trying to progress in the game.

name only entries

The Campaign for North Africa