User:SysRq/Stephen Colbert
 | This is an essay. It is not an ignorable policy on Uncyclopedia, so you should ignore it even more and disregard the mad ramblings of its writer. Or you could submit it as an Uncycloversity assignment in lieu of doing any actual work. |
The purpose of this essay is to summarize the hateful comments found at Talk:Stephen Colbert regarding the "objectionable content" of the main article. I wish to briefly outline why you are wrong and Uncyclopedia is right about why you should shut the fuck up about Stephen Colbert and our Stephen Colbert article.
For those of you who have stumbled upon this essay without meaning to, and therefore have no idea what has been going on over at Talk:Stephen Colbert, I will recap the last few episodes for your benefit. The general argument from IPs/trolls is that a page that does not praise Colbert for the comedic genius that he is does not deserve a place on our wiki. Furthermore, an article that "bashes" said comedic genius does not deserve a place on the internet, and anyone who would write or contribute to said article does not have a right to exist. Allow me to bring one of these comments to you via {{cquote}}:
| “ | its not about praising nor is it about defiling its about whats funny and neither is funny unless its stupidly insane praise like chuck norris thats some funny stuff but only cause its ridiculous and absurd randomly bashing someone from your own personal opinion of them isnt funny its just discrimination on its bare knuckles and praising someone on here for personal reasons is just as dumb because that again is personal opinions take me for instance i like the band nickleback i but if there were a thing on her about them wich im sure after reading this some overly opinionated persons going to make one if there isnt i wouldnt put my opinion id put something like nickleback was recently kicked out of gotham last week for drunkenly challenging batman to a gentleman's duel and losing (granted thats kind of stupid but its not really insulting anyone cause its insane | ” |
Obviously, we are dealing with an emotionally charged issue. The Colbert Nation is a strong army of sheeple, and they must be addressed as a whole rather than wait for them to line up and blank the page one by one. Such is the purpose of this essay.
Watchers of the Colbert Report should, in theory, appreciate and understand satire. The entire show is satire. The character of Stephen Colbert himself is a satirical character. They love the show, therefore they love satire. There's nothing wrong with watching the Colbert Report. I watch it. I laugh. It's a funny show. And I like Stephen Colbert. He's a funny guy and a great actor. But one must always remember that it is satire. It's a TV show making fun of the O'Reilly Factor.
Enter Uncyclopedia. We're a wiki that makes fun of everything via satire. What we do is essentially the same thing that Stephen Colbert does on his show. We satirize things. Why can't we satirize an article about Colbert when he himself is based on satire?
Allow me to outline the joke of the article for those of you who don't get it. The article itself is written from the viewpoint of a fan of Strangers With Candy and who views Stephen Colbert as a sellout who has replaced humor with bias. The article itself is doing what it criticizes in Colbert: it replaces humor with bias. The article is written in an incredibly biased manner, satirizing itself. No one here really cares enough about Stephen Colbert to genuinely bash him in an article. We're not ED. We're Uncyclopedia. All of our articles (the good ones anyways) have an underlying point that isn't necessarily blunt and obvious. (like ED articles are)
Ultimately, however, I personally don't really care about whether or not random IPs like the damn article. I just want for this to be out here so that I can feel like I can stop worrying about Talk:Stephen Colbert. If you don't like the article, I don't want to hear it. Nobody does. There's no point to inane chatter about how much you love the Colbert Report and how offended you are by anyone who disagrees with your views. Such comments make you look like an idiot and makes Colbert fans look even more ridiculous. You should spend less time arguing on the internet so that you have more time for coloring or drinking energy drinks or doing everything the TV tells you. Just don't involve me in it.