User:Syndrome/Gentleman

Gentleman

A pair of gentlemen foppishly engaged in the act of levitation.

Scientific Classification

Kingdom: Animalia Phylum: Chordata Class: Mammalia Order: Primates Family: Hominidae Genus: Homo Species: Homo nobilis

A gentleman is a distinguished sir of good breeding and sound social standing. A migratory creature, the gentleman usually takes up residence in mansions within cities, but can also be seen during certain seasons at his ranch in the countryside.

Identification

Although gentleman scholars have many advanced techniques for classifying, sexing, and differentiating between gentleman, common layfolk need only bear in mind a few basic tricks for distinguishing a gentleman before carrying on with their workaday lives. A gentleman can almost always be seen with a black coat on top of a white underbelly. To emphasize their status, they will often wear accessories such as top hats, monocles and canes. In general, the more accessories, the more well-to-do the gentleman. The most dangerous mistake one can make when identifying a gentleman is confusing him with a drunken wastrel, who will dress himself as a gentleman in order to imitate his status, much like a non-venomous snake will bear the same markings as a venomous one to discourage predators. Fortunately, the layabout's clothing will often be wrinkled, soiled and vomit-stained enough to allow easy differentiation. Just remember the mnemonic: "Black on white, he's all right. Black on yellow, killed a fellow."

Grooming

Gentlemen are known to be fastidiously well-groomed.

Courtship

Although there is no such thing as a lady gentleman, certain varieties of female exist that make suitable mates for gentlemen.