User:Starnestommy/Long Rants

Policy changes in #uncyclopedia

After witnessing many troll and botnet attacks in our IRC channel without seeing correct chanop intervention, I have come up with a new policy draft:

Dealing with botnets

One problem that we often have is botnets. To deal with these, look for patterns like <word><letter><letter> and set set mode +b word??!*@*. Setting a channel limit and an overflow also helps. Yo set a limit and an overflow channel, do this: /mode +lfL limit #overflow-channel. Join floods often happen. If a join/part occurs, do this: /mode +fJ joins, time where joins is the maximum allowed joins in time seconds. If this still fails, try +m and give everyone except the bots and their master(s) +v. If +Jf, +Llf, and +m fail, set +i to require a /invite, wait a few minutes, then unset it.

Trolls

Trolls are just as annoying. To be safe, look for the following: users with the nicknames tarp, runx. alottafagina, starnestranny, w00t, raep, w00tfailbot, w00tfloodbot, Loooooooooong, longcat, whaabulance, and other nicknames based on memes or meant to make fun of others. Users with sh3lls.netor sex-maniacs.info in their hostmasks or unaffiliated in them should be watched, but the sh3lls.net and sex-maniacs.info hosts are usually worse; most unaffiliated users are trusted enough by freenode staff to use that cloak. Also, users on bouncers tend to be problematic.

The best way to stop trolls is like this:

• 1. Op up and warn the troll.
• 2. /kick the troll with a non-insulting reason (Note: Most users automatically rejoin when kicked, but not when the next solution is used)
• 3 /remove the troll with a reason. To do this, op up and type /remove #channel nickname reason. Most users don't automatically rejoin on /remove.
• 4. Devoice (if moderated) or quiet ban a user. To do this, put a % before the ban mask as shown below. They can still join, but must be +v (voiced) to talk.
• 5. Kickban. To do this, ban their nick!user@host, like *!*@*.dhcp.sffl.va.charter.com (everyone using a dhcp.sffl.va.charter.com host), tarp!*@* (to ban anyone with the nickname tarp), *!?=penis@* (to ban everyone with the username penis), or some combination, then kick them. Also, the ban syntax is /ban mask or /mode +b mask.

Also, if possible, trusted non-sysops should be opped in case of attacks. --Starnestommy (Talk • Contribs • FFS • WP) 20:44, 4 June 2007 (UTC)

Draft

The big problem is that many people come here expecting to find something funny, but instead run across a half-assed, meme-ridden, pile of decomposing fecal matter full of sex jokes and religious flames. While some people find these things funny, many others find it unfunny. In addition, HTBFANJS isn't followed by everyone and there is no system that comprehensively rates different articles. (By "comprehensively", I mean "covering all articles") If we did have those systems and more ways to warn of potentially offensive content, fewer people would accidentally stumble across tasteless articles and be offended away from Uncyclopedia. If such a system were in place, people would know an article was offensive before they read it and be less shocked. --Sir Starnestommy (Talk • Contribs • CUN • Capt.) 00:29, October 27, 2007

On Being Funny And Not Just Stupid

Personally, I interpret the rule using an equation:

$x={\frac {f}{s+d}}$

In this equation, $x$ is a ratio, $f$ is how funny it is on a scale of one to ten, $s$ is also one-to-ten, but represents stupidity, and $d$ is dickery on a similar scale.

If $x$ is less than or equal to 1, I consider the action, user, or page being rated to be in violation of rule #1. If $x$ is greater than 1, it's safe. --Sir Starnestommy (Talk • Contribs • CUN) 23:42, Jan. 10, 2008

The Winkler Protocol

The Winkler Protocol, an essay about what should be done in case we have another Winkler-like incident