User:Starfox10/Spineshank

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SpineShank[edit | edit source]

That's a Dildo I Believe

Random Ass Info[edit | edit source]

Active since 1887-2005, this not-so-nu-metal group was formed by a group of illegal Mexicans. Their lead singer is Jonny Santos(full name Jonathan Lionel Rodriguez Gutierrez Santa Maria Nina Pinta Santos) snuck over the border in 1999. The rest followed suit. Their first album, Strictly Dick Juice featured Jonny, Rob Guerrero Cortez Garcia on Bass, Tommy "The Bald Dude" Decker on drums , and Mike "Gimme a kiss" Sarkisyan. Their next album, Height Of Callousness featured the singles "New VD", "Cyanide in my Eye", "Can't Be Fixed", "Can't Be Fixed(Anal Tissue remix)", and "Translucent Sperm".

Jonny left after being deported by [George Bush]'s army of China-Bots. They went to Brazil and recieved free Brazilian waxes upon entry in the country. They found Brandon "Buttcheek" Espinoza running naked in a jungle humping monkeys. They thought his screaming would go well with their new album, Self Destructing Dildos. They are currently working on an album in a studio in Nebraska, though it will be nuked because Nebraska is useless. The album is set for a release on the day of the world's end,and will have more whining about drug problems than normal. Some new tracks are "VIH", "Chlamidia(Feat. Paris Hilton)" and "The Sound of Bad Music"(Feat.Borat on nonsense sounds.

Discography[edit | edit source]

  • Strictly Dick Juice
  • Height Of Callousness
  • Self Destructing Dildos


Singles[edit | edit source]

One of their later promo pictures. left-right: Tommy, Brandon, Mike, some random Asian
  • "New VD"
  • "Smothered(In Sperm)"
  • "Play Gynecologist"
  • "My Balls Itch(Featuring Flea From the [Red Hot Chili Peppers])"
  • "You Ruined My Life(This is the theme of every song)"

Brandon's Issues[edit | edit source]

Brandon has been suffering crack problems. He is now in rehab along with Britney Spears. They have had sex repeatedly according to an employee. "They go at it like rabbits."-Ben Stiller, Employee. At this rate though, he may survive.

Touring[edit | edit source]

In their live shows, which usually consist of Brandon stealing Tom's drumsticks and using them as sex objects, have been huge successes. The audiences are comprised of fiends, homeless, and other illegal Mexicans. They toured with Paris Hilton's Traveling VD tour for the promotion of her new CD, simply entitled "Whore". Rob Garcia fell in love with her and he double teamed her with Link, the band groupie. He is now dying of Hepatitis A through some of the Greek letters. He is expected to make a full recovery when Peach nurses him back to health.

Relations[edit | edit source]

Bobby lee is the only man who looks pretty in a skirt.

They have good ties with Disturbed(fronted by the Jew Kyle Brovlofsky). They also are inspired by the emo sounds of Linkin Park. They had group sex backstage. They didn't invite the DJ Bobby Lee, because of the typical Asian stereotype. He filed a lawsuit and got 500 Pesos.

"I was so, like, unjust, like, dude." - Guitarist Brad Pitt. Spineshank claims to have not invited Bobby because the room was too small. "Well with my small dick I wouldn't take up too much room would I!?"-Bobby sobbing during an interview on Sad TV, the show on the Fox Box he is famous for.