User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user/Carbonated beverages and their relations to marxist and other controversial ideologies
Yep, that's right. Coca-Cola bottles are red and white, Sprite green and Pepsi blue for a reason. And it's not advertising, or at least not the advertising you think.
Dr. Pepper[edit | edit source]
Red. All over the front. I'm surprised that they didn't add yellow too, because their subtle advertising just screams COMMUNISM. No, that's a load of crap, it can't be true, Dr. Pepper and Sprite are also part of the Coca-cola company! And Sprite's bottles are green, and Coca cola's views Nazism! Wrong. Since the early 1800s, Sprite has been as independent as the presidential candidate it supports. And Coke is on a track of its own. But we'll come to that later. Back to Dr. Pepper. The company has been supporting people like Stalin, Lenin, and Hillary Clinton ever since they came into this world, which in our Doctor's hopes would be a glorious Soviet nation by the year 1800. Luckily, they have not succeeded because they have rivals. Let's take a look at some of them now...
Coca-Cola[edit | edit source]
Heil Coke! The swastika is not a part of the Coca-Cola logo, or at least not yet. But if the creators had their way, the symbol of the terrible fascist reign of Hitler would be flying from flagpoles all around the world as well as standing proudly on the front of the carbonated drink Neo-Nazis so strongly support. Need I say more? Don't drink it. It's like downloading porn, you're jacking off (In this case, taking a drink) with Hitler.
Sprite: The inside traitor[edit | edit source]
Sprite is for hippies. Admit it. Just look at all the green all over the front, and you'll see what I mean- It was inspired by LSD, just like Ralph Nader, the presidential candidate that Sprite supports. The green is for the greenness of the earth that Nader imagines (Usually while high), the color of Tarja Halonen's pants, and probably a lot of other things too, but you probably shouldn't take them seriously, they were probably high while dreaming up those too.
Pepsi: Socialism. Think Ingsoc.[edit | edit source]
Ok, so we all know that socialism doesn't have an official color, red is usually associated with it. But no, Pepsi is as socialist as the glorious nation of Oceania. Take a look at this hard, unforgiving fact: Pepsi's bottles were changed from red to blue just around the collapse of the U.S.S.R. This was a symbol of freedom from the evil soviet ideology, everyone knows that Pepsi was controlled by soviet Russia. It was probably founded by Stalin or Mao Zedong or Paul Bunyan! In Soviet Russia, Pepsi drinks... Oh wait, that isn't funny.