User:Simsilikesims/Why?Get Traditional Sour Cream Party Rainbow Classic Grey Black Xxxl Sandals
Come get your Traditional Sour Cream Party Rainbow Classic Grey Black Xxxl Sandals today! We sell party shoes! We sell edible shoes! We sell sparkly shoes! We sell classic shoes! We sell boring shoes! We sell cardboard shoes! We sell cement shoes!
Traditional[edit | edit source]
These Sour Cream Party Rainbow Classic Grey Black Xxxl sandals are traditional in the country of Myshuno Picadillo. They are worn by male household members as part of the Reaper's Day celebration. They are considered very masculine in the celebration ritual held annually, and worn with traditional garb: pink metallic capes, complete with peacock blue pearl and rhinestone-studded and silver-laced embroidered headdresses, and symbolic face paint is worn. Participants in the ritual ceremony dance to fast-paced drums, claps, and horns while clapping and hooting. The drum tempo increases until all but one participant is literally left standing after everyone else has either tripped or dropped of exhaustion. All fallen dancers must leave the ring immediately, whereupon they are dowsed with ice and bathed in an iced traditional tropical punch drink. The winner is awarded a pair of heavy stone shoes and a mask, a huge feast is held for himself and his family, and then he is carried to the lake in celebration. It is traditional to distribute all of his clothing between all female tribe members afterwards.
Sour Cream[edit | edit source]
These aren't just ordinary sandals, they're LOADED! Just like a baked potato, they're LOADED! I repeat, they're LOADED! With Sour Cream! Actual sour cream folks, not imitation. Not only that, but the sour cream is organic, gluten free, contains no nuts or soy, and is GMO-free. These are tasty sandals indeed. Who doesn't like sour cream? Everything is tastier with sour cream, especially sandals. If you want some chives or cheese, we can make it happen. You just can't beat our sour cream flavor for edible shoes and sandals. Goes very well with ice cream and red wine. If you do not fancy the sour cream style sandals, We also offer red wine ice cream shoes, topped with esgargot, cookie crumbs, and copper pentagrams burnt on toast!
Party[edit | edit source]
These aren't the kind of sandals you would wear to the mall, or to work, these sandals are made for PARTYING! Just wearing these fancy shoes proves that you are the life of the party, whether it be a beach party, a house party, a nightclub party, a karaoke party, a backyard BBQ party, a holiday party, a dinner party, or a traditional celebration in (country name). We added extra glitter, extra sequins, extra rhinestones, mirror tiles, glow in the dark paint, and intense LED lights and lasers to these shoes, so everyone will be blinded by them half a mile away. We even added a smoke machine that alternates between neon pink and brown smoke, AND a even yellow snow machine to these sandals, they are so awesome!
Rainbow[edit | edit source]
We topped the sour cream on the sandals with rainbow sprinkles to show that our sandals are Xxxtra special! Then we added rainbow glitter to the sandals themselves! These are SUCH CUTE sandals! Unless you are a guy of course, in which case they are FABULOUS! Wear these sandals with PRIDE. We even topped them with more rainbow bacon bits, and some edible gold chives. Sprinkles come in shades of pink, shades of purple, shades of blue, shades of red, shades of yellow, and shades of green. The rainbow rhinestones are edible candies, too!
Classic Grey[edit | edit source]
Grey is the classic color of business and success, so of course, these sandals are grey. Black and grey. Grey is a great neutral color,and works with a variety of outfits. Underneath all the sprinkles and toppings are your classic grey sandals, polished with love, and cushioned with white laced studded styrofoam and leather exterior. These are absolutely a must-have for work, once the sour cream and toppings have been consumed, and they are SO comfortable!
Black[edit | edit source]
Because black is the new black, they had to be not only classic grey, but classic black. Black is back! So they had to be grey and black at the same time! Because color-block sandals are even more AWESOME, EPIC, ORGANIC, and WORLD-CLASS than either just grey or black. Oh, and they're SEXY too, with all that black lace and mesh. Perfect for Goth tastes. [1]
Sandals[edit | edit source]
Sandals are the perfect shoe for summer. You can wear them anywhere, unless you work in one of those stuffy workplaces that won't let your toes roam free. They keep your feet and your toes cool. They even have holes in the soles to keep your feet extra cool and look extra cool. Everybody needs a new pair of sandals this summer. So buy these sandals today!
Variety of sizes![edit | edit source]
We have YOUR size, whether it be Xxxs, Xxs, Xs, S, M, L, XL, Xxl, or Xxxl. You are guaranteed to find a size that fits you, or your money back.[2]