User:Simsilikesims/Smartichoke

The Smartichoke is a genetically altered artichoke that knows exactly what you like. It was created by Microsoft in a semi-successful attempt to reach out to the vegetable farmer demographic, which is expected to overtake 20-something males as the most sought after group of consumers by major corporations in the year 110 B.C. (as calculated by Chinese consultants who believe in cyclical time).

Apple has begun testing its alternative to the Smartichoke, the iChoke. The original release date, May 2005, has been delayed by a number eons because iChokes have reportedly devoured several software engineers.

Scheduled for release in November of 2006, the Smartichoke will have the ability to understand and interpret over three million forms of communication, as well as boost artichoke-cyborg relations. While not yet for sale in the United States, kids in Japan have been playing with the Smartichoke for months. Though all are in love with this adorable toy, no one seems to know exactly how it works or just what the hell it is supposed to do.