User:Simsilikesims/Office workout

Do you spend so much time at the office that you have no time before or after work for exercise? Underpaid and cannot afford a gym membership? Well the Office workout program can help YOU! With just a few easy exercises, you too can get into shape at the office during the course of your everyday desk job.

Chair Twist

With your feet on the floor, move your hips from side to side in your swiveling office chair. Repeat 20 times, then lift both legs at the same time while sitting in your chair 20 times. Then go to the filing cabinet for the next exercise.

Filing Cabinet Knee Bend

Bend your knees and squat down, as if you were filing something in the bottom drawer of the file cabinet. Try not to fall on your behind while holding this squatting position, unless you wish to amuse your coworkers. Alternatively, bend at the waist while filing numerous files in the bottom drawer of the file cabinet. Repeat until your knees, back or ribs get tired. Pain is a sign that you are making progress in your exercise routine and should not be avoided unless you are elderly.

Water Cooler Lift

The next stop in your exercise routine is the water cooler, but not to take a break. It's your turn to change the bottle in the water cooler! Remove the empty bottle, and lift the new bottle up onto the water cooler, being careful not to spill the water all over the place. If you got a little bit of water around, use this opportunity to bend down with paper towels and mop up the mess. With practice you will grow strong enough and fast enough to master this skill.

Copy Machine Acrobatics

Lift your legs or buttocks up to the copy machine (your face would be too easy) and photocopy your footprints or your buttocks. Be careful not to break the glass; you may need a non-wheeled chair for assistance in this process. Repeat 50 times or until someone else walks into the copy room. Bring something official looking with you like a manila envelope as an excuse for why you are in the copy room. The manila envelope will also double as a means of hiding your "confidential" copies that you made.

Shredding Machine Bends

Your next job is to go to the shredder and bend over to shred all your copies that you made in the previous exercise. This may take awhile depending on the volume capacity of your office shredder. Make sure to secure any tie, scarf, or loose items such as jewelry before attempting this exercise. Should your office be equipped with shred bins instead of shredders, be sure to tear up the copies before putting them in the shred bins. Alternatively, you can cut the copies up into snowflake patterns, or make origami to take home to your kids.

Coffee mug lifts

Its time for your coffee break! See how many times you can lift your mug to your mouth, then refill the coffee mug and repeat until you have had as much coffee as you can stand. This will energize you for the next exercise.

Mouse clicks

See how many times you can click your mouse in one minute. This will exercise your arm and wrist muscles, and is good for improving your skills at Facebook games.

Desk crouch

The boss might be coming by about now, so squat and crouch under your desk. This will hide you from your boss, avoiding any pesky questions about exactly what you have been doing for the last hour or two.

Kneeling position

Your boss found you under your desk, and now this exercise will not only exercise your legs, but may redeem your status with your boss so that you don't lose your job. Now get back to work!