User:Shrapnelwolf/UnNews:Bush Threatens World with Pistol

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16 August 2007

Washington, DC

Undeniable proof that video games cause violence in children

President George W. Bush, having recently learned the release date of Halo 3 as September 25, threatened the entire planet Earth with a springfield XD .45 caliber pistol.

The president was quoted as saying "I want ma Halo 3, and I want it now! Now now now!" At this point, the president proceeded to start pounding on his podium, and crying.

Dick Cheney was quoted as saying "*unintelligible mumbling* Halo kicks ass *unintelligible mumbling*"

The UN has convened to contemplate many options, from pushing Bungie to give the president a Beta test copy to blaming the entertainment industry to banning video games outright or simply bombing the US to smithereens. Many countries (including 34 of the US states) have showed their support for the last option.

John Lennon's corpse has currently not commented on the situation. Paul McCartney has, but no one's paying attention anyway, so he's crying too.

But no one cares.

Poor Paul.

Sources[edit | edit source]

We don't need no god damn sources. This is America!!!!

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