User:Shedtroll/prudes

THI5 PAG3 I5 1N B3T4, |T'5 N0T R34DY Y3T

Relax...... This article is certified safe for prudes. It is so tame, you could walk right up and poke it in the eye and it wouldn't fight back. The MPAA couldn't give it more than a PG rating, and even China has no desire to censor it. So just sit your family down in front of the computer, and bask in the warmth of its gentle humour.

“GASP! THEY HAVE WRITTEN AN ARTICLE ABOUT US! WE MUST BAN THE INTERNET!”

~ Prudes on Uncyclopedia

Prudes are people who are terrified, and offended by anything. No seriously, anything. Here is a list:

• You
• Me
• Cats
• Dogs
• Badgers
• Sex
• That Extremely Nice Lesbian couple you met on holiday
• Wales
• The TellyTubbies
• Family guy
• Pagans (Including Wiccans)
• Uncyclopedia (Us)
• White people with dreadlocks
• Black people with dreadlocks
• Any display of Human Skin...

Well...you get the idea.

Strangely enough, they tend to be American, Christian and with 2.4 kids. Since they have 2.4 kids, they are obsessed with Censoring all their kids come in contact with so they, them selfs become prudes like them, but they seem to be too fucking lazy to do anything to control what their kids watch/hear. So they attempt to control what everyone else sees in the sheer belief that witnessing the flash of a female breast turns you into a terrorist drug addicted Pedophile who joins Al Quieda.

Prudes and the Internet

Prudes are obsessed with the internet. No seriously, they somehow believe that the internet is a big truck controlled by one person, and that the 'Truck' Contains nothing but Child porn, Terrorist material and so called 'filth'.

But the fact is THE INTERNET IS A SERIES OF TUBES AND IS CONTROLLED BY EVERYONE YOU THICK FUCKS! If you don't like it, CHANGE IT!

Got that? Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood.

The ultimate goal of the prudes is to get the internet banned and all webmasters, web developer and web users Nailed to crosses and burnt alive. This soon subsides when they discover internet memes.

Prudes and Nudity

Prudes believe that Nudity Equals Sex and on seeing any form of nudity of any type you become a terrorist drug addicted Pedophile who joins Al Quieda (or for short terr-dru-addi-pedo-ieda). So, in 1999 they campaigned for everyone, Male and Female to wear the Burqa at all times under penalty of Death.

Prudes and swearing

These fucking Prudes find swearing So fucking Offensive that they are trying to criminalize swearing which is the most retarded idea ever born out of the sick twisted mind of our collective intelligence. They have the belief that swearing can kill people, even though that's fucking retarded.