User:Samalot/Democratic socialism

In the year 20BC (before conservatives) the world was a Utopia unrivalled in beauty and efficiency. Everyone was happy and the hippies danced in circles all the way around the open fields, until twenty years later when the second coming of jesus caused armageddon. After the initial destruction, there was some more destruction. After that, the only survivors were those cowardly enough to use young children as shields, nourishment and something soft to defecate onto. They banded together into a small cult ready to conserve their values of slimy cowardice and exploitation of the weak. Unknown to them, some good folk has survived too, but had hidden in case God decided to shit on mankind once more.

After Chuck Norris finally kicked God's ass, the Socialists crawled out of the rubble to find a whole new world built by the Conservative regime. After crawling through THAT rubble they finally reached David Cameron's lair. A small battle left Clement Atlee mortally wounded and the Socialists fled, leaving Margaret Thatcher and Shelob to gloat about their victory and attractiveness.

It is a well known fact that the Conservatives can only acheive victory through visciously controlling the press and using the police force as their own iron fist, but in 1AD (after democracy) they were defeated in the polls by the new Socialist government, due to the promises of a National Health Service and the fact that the Conservatives were utter shite.