User:SPIKE/Undead

The Undead defend America

The people who defend the United States against foreign threats are largely Undead. When President Eisenhower coined the notorious phrase military-industrial complex, used for decades to suggest a sinister conspiracy between defense contractors and the Pentagon, he was merely noting that he was never able to talk to a real person about the nation's defense needs. And he was a General.

The top brass of the military are Undead. They are called brass not because their rank insignia is brass, but their bodies are brass. They are units of a model the Pentagon devised to ensure the continuing defense of the United States in the case of an enemy weapon that destroys all the living people. They write memos, conduct weapons demonstrations, and direct subordinates to fill out forms in quadruplicate, in exactly the way the people they were patterned after used to do it.

Dick Cheney, who defended the nation while it waited for George W. Bush not to be President, was thought to be a man with a heart pacemaker. In fact, Cheney was Undead, and the pacemaker made all his military decisions.

How do they do it?

The Undead in government and industry give everyone the impression that a human being is in charge of management, even though no one ever sees a human being. They may use any of the following:

• Press releases
• Spokespersons
• Multimedia presentations
• Computer simulations.