User:S0ckpupp3t n00b/That is a man's head

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That is a man's head!”

~ Will Smith on a man's head

You are walking down a country road. The air is crisp, there's a slight breeze, and the sun's gentle rays are warming your face. Indeed, it is so serene a picture that you are nearly lost in the moment. You look further down, and by an old oak tree, you notice something that doesn't fit the picture. You ask yourself,

"Hey, what's that over there?"

It's kind of round, and there's a tuft of blackish hair on top. Then it hits you. The wide eyes, the thin nose, the blood-soaked mouth and chin. You scream in terror:

"THAT IS A MAN'S HEAD!"
That is a man's head!

Oh my God![edit | edit source]

It is indeed a man's head. You mouth-vomit in terror as you approach the bloody scene. No body, just the head of a 26-year-old John Doe who ran into the wrong meth-tweakers last Saturday night. Look ho, it appears as though it is crawling with something. You dare not go closer. What is engulfing this sickening sight is none other than a colony of tiny, black

ants.
That is a cabbage head!

Holy Crap![edit | edit source]

You want to look away. You really want to. But, like a magnificent train wreck, you find yourself unable to break the lock between the gory, gruesome scene and your petrified eyeballs. As you begin to panic, swift and rash thoughts cross your mind.

How did this get here?
Can I sell this?
I wonder how it tastes...

You do almost taste it. But the ants. You restrain yourself, then vomit inside your oral cavity once more. Dear God, why you? You sit down, believing it is some sick acid flashback from your teen years. But, sure enough, you tap the back of the head with the tip of your shoe, and it is very much material. However, the severed head happens to roll to its other side, and a new horror is revealed.

You sicken me.

AAAAAAAAAA![edit | edit source]

JESUS F. CHRIST! HOLY FUCKING SHITMOBILE!!!

Yes, your mind is cluttered with the grotesque scene that lays before you. There is a small, colorful pile of condoms, apparently used, once hidden beneath the head, and now in plain sight. You swear in disgust, then taste the fresh vomit boiling as it escapes your esophagus.

Nice work. Now it's covered in ants, condoms, and vomit. YOU ALMOST TASTED THIS FUCKING THING!