“IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAYZER!!! SHOOP DA WHOOP! LOL. Eks dee.”
“I pity da' foo who messes up mah ride!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAA”
Rollo 3rd Earl of Chutney was born on Jan 22, 2048 and contrary to the rest of society is moving backwards through the space-time continuum. The son of a preacher man and a tailor who sold my new blue jeans, he has never been to any gambling house in New Orleans or otherwise.
Is a great washing powder.
Living in the province of Eastasia, Rollo quickly drew the attention of the Thoughtpolice with his doubleplusungood crimethink. Minitrue are currently chasing him down as are the Fire Department who suspect that he may be in possession of books.
Being a very happy malchick Rollo 3rd Earl of Chutney lives in a house, a very big house in the country at the end of a dark road with the front entrance illuminated by a neon sign that reads "Home".
In this house is a crystal chandelier which used to reside in the Paris Opera House. The ghost of oh so many years ago is currently scared away by a little illumination.
Rollo has several magic powers that you should know about. Rollo has the power to shoot magical lasers out of his eyes which can blow up everything within a thousand mile radius including himself. Rollo 75 is also capable of leaping tall buildings but prefers not to because of his other leading power, apathy. This person can summon great historical beings like Adolf Hitler, George Washington, and Chuck Norris which can all be used to kick your ass at will. In short you should be very afraid. Shoop da whoop!
He is currently available for weddings, funerals, incendiary-device tupperware parties and anything and owns a restaurant at the end of the universe.